Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.

Occasionally in a day, I have to pee. It happens more often than you think. When Evie was first here, I just held it or held her and did it. Then my Dad got her an awesome mobile that will entertain her for about five minutes. Enough time to pee and maybe squeeze in some face or teeth or hand washing. Recently, Evelynn has been sitting up, scooting, and is well on her way to crawling. Anything besides being on her back and being away from those kitties!
She attempts this in her crib now too. Her first attempt lead to a black eye. Her second attempt led to her bucket of pacifiers being strewn about the crib, half lost to the underside of the crib where Bagheera goes to hide. The third attempt she got her leg stuck thru one of the slats. The fourth attempt after we put up the bumper to keep her from falling thru the slats, she went under the bumper and got her arm stuck in a medieval torture style pose. This time, she really did it. First she was fine, and I was whistling away in the bathroom, multitasking as usual, sending out resumes for my brother. Then she started screaming. So I closed up shop and went to investigate wondering what appendage I would have to pull from a slat this time. I came in and she had some how magically unscrewed the cap from the tub of Destin and smeared it all over her right side of her face and hand. And was laying there flailing and screaming. It was at its largest concentration at her eye and mouth. Of course. First I ran and got a wash cloth and wiped off what I could. She screamed more. Then I read the can and it said call poison control if she ingests it. So I did. Okay that's a lie, I ran a bath to get the rest of the Destin off and I called Seth at work crying. He called poison control. And he said they were very nice and this happens all the time, although not to five month olds, more to 15 month olds. Ugh my advanced child!
So I had to feed her because apparently it affects their ability to swallow so I had to basically wash down the Desitin, then I had to wrap her up in a towel, swaddle her really, and then wash her eye out for ten minutes. I lasted three, I couldn't take it and she was acting like she was drowning. She was so mad at me...
I just got her down for a nap, the nurse at poison control called back and had me check her eye for redness or swelling, which she has neither and she is eating fine too.
She will be the death of me. She has pictures on Monday. Tuesday night she headbutted my front tooth and left a sizeable dent and bruise in her hair line. Wednesday she hadn't pooped in two days despite my efforts to stuff her full of baby food before it went bad. Then while I was making lunch and she was sitting in the bouncer she started pooping and I started cheering for her. We went to ask Seth, who was still in bed with whatever nasty cold gross he brought back from his travel trip to the East Coast if he wanted some of what I was having and I turned around to go change her diaper and noticed a trail of shit from the bedroom to the kitchen. I looked down and I was covered in shit. I screamed at Seth to get up. And then we went and stood in the shower together to clean the baby up and me. Then he cleaned the carpet while I put the baby and myself back together. Later he was eating and jumped up screaming and saying he was going to throw up. Some how he had poop on his hand and in his hair.
This morning I pinched her finger in the buckle of the bouncer.
How long before the state comes and takes her away? She might be safer.
Ahhh motherhood.
Love (trials and errors),
Carrie