Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Why Carrie doesn’t Twitter
So I’ve been really looking at this Twitter thing. For those of you who don’t know, it’s a website where you basically update your every move and thought throughout the day. Famous people do it, TV shows do it, heck even Anderson Cooper does it.
I really don’t think this is such a good idea for me. To prove my point, here is a sample of what my Twitter day will look like: (apparently there is a cute little picture of you and a balloon box that comes up with your thoughts-so just imagine that)

Carrie thinks that getting up before the sun should be a crime.
Carrie thinks that she doesn’t want to brush her teeth this morning, but probably will.
Carrie is looking at her bed longingly.
Carrie is checking her email and facebook.
Carrie is waking up Seth.
Carrie is making breakfast and feeding the babies ham from Seth’s sandwich.
Carrie is trying to decide what to take for lunch.
Carrie is running late.
Carrie can’t find her black motorcycle boots to wear today and it makes her mad.
Carrie is wearing her pink tennis shoes…again.
Carrie is running very late.
Carrie almost hit Seth’s truck backing out-per usual.
Carrie wishes it was legal to shoot a paintball gun at people who cut her off in traffic.
Carrie thinks the crew on 94.1 is hilarious in the morning.
Carrie wishes she was brave enough to call into the morning shows.
Carrie thinks that 106.9 Big Boy in the morning has some funny topics too-but not today.
Carrie loves English muffins with cream cheese-YUM.
Carrie hates how pop splatters everywhere when you open it while driving.
Carrie wishes it was legal to gentle rear end people who are going 50 in the fast lane.
Carrie wishes this drive was shorter.
Carrie hates the sun-especially when it’s bright and shiny in her eyes while she is driving.
Carrie wishes Fort Calhoun would move 10 feet to the left so she didn’t have to slow down to 25 when going thru the town.
Carrie is sitting in security hoping they don’t search her because she forgot to take out the bottle of wine her mom gave Seth in her backseat-AGAIN. Dang!
Carrie is giving the security guards Bambi eyes
Carrie made it thru! I need to send myself a reminder email after I boot up my computer to get rid of that wine.
Carrie just remembered she forgot to get cheap red wine for her Shepherds Pie this weekend-Double Damn.
Carrie is thinking maybe she can use some of her wedding wine for cooking.
Carrie is trying to find a parking spot.
Carrie is running into the building-it’s COLD!
Carrie is peeing.
Carrie is getting hot water for tea!
Carrie is hiding from creepy old guy who always tries to rub her back.
Carrie is booting up her computer.
Carrie is sending out her morning emails.
Carrie thinks even though she is sending all these out, she probably won’t hear back on any of them and that makes her sad.
Carrie is listening to coworkers fight-FUN.
Carrie is emailing Jenny.
Carrie is listening to her boss step in.
Carrie is giggling at Jenny’s reply.
Carrie thinks he should fire them and pay her more.
Carrie tells Jenny that.
Carrie is attempting to look busy while she finishes her secret project.
Carrie is thinking she has MAD mundane task skills.
Carrie is trying to figure out how to print all 258 pages of her secret project 3 times without anyone noticing.
Carrie is going to wait until after 4 to do that.
Carrie remembered that she has mucho scanning to do after four today, nuts.
Carrie’s vitamins are hurting her tummy.
Carrie is on her way to the file cabinets to get files to audit.
Carrie wishes she had won the lotto.
Carrie is thinking the weekend is going to be REALLY busy and she’s sad about that.
Carrie just wants to take a nap.
Carrie thinks she should get Zio’s this weekend.
Carrie is in love with Google. Google Reader, Google News page-AWESOME.
Carrie is sad for the people in Germany and the school shooting and the people in Alabama, but she can’t stop reading about it.
Carrie really HATES Pink, Nickleback, and the new Kelly Clarkson song. And she’s really sick of having to turn her radio off every other song.
Carrie is going pee.
Carrie is reading Grey’s Anatomy spoilers.
Carrie is wondering if her Dad would like to see Fleetwood Mac when they come to town.
Carrie hates radio commercials, especially Woodhouse ones.
Carrie thinks the clock is going SO SLOW.
Carrie is so friggin smart, she just cut her secret book printing in half by landscaping…Shazam! Word Wizard!
Carrie just got an email from her mom! Yay!
Carrie is now trying to figure out how to secretly print 132 pages 3 times.
Carrie wishes that her book writing skills were as good as her twittering skills.
Carrie is printing off sections at a time of the book because its taking forever, then she’s just going to photocopy them.
Carrie is drinking warm V8 and eating pretzels- 10 o’clock munchies!
Carrie is going pee.
Carrie can’t believe it is only 10:08.
Carrie had to turn off the radio for that Taylor Swift song-blech.
Carrie is actually doing some work.
Carrie is reading Big Love spoilers.
Carrie is bloated and wants to take off her pants. She is the bloated beast of the Balrog.
Carrie shouldn’t be watching Lord of the Rings before she goes to bed, it makes her want to quote lines all day.
Carrie is going pee.
Carrie enjoys sleeping late, being snowed in, and saying the word bananas but not eating them.
Carrie is wondering what Seth is doing.
Carrie needs to change out one of her desk pictures because she looks sauced in it. (she was)
Carrie misses her beeps (the baby kittens, I don’t know why we call them beeps)
Carrie is still SO MAD about Pushing Daises, Jericho, Firefly, and Eli Stone getting cancelled.
Carrie wonders if she is the only person who watched America’s Best Dance Crew and So You Think You Can Dance and American Idol because no one wants to talk about it, is it a dirty secretly, like TV porn?
Carrie oddly enough does not like Dancing with the Stars.
Carrie wonders what Rob Thomas is up to, is there going to be a new Matchbox 20 cd soon?
Carrie wishes No Doubt was coming to Omaha, she would take Kathy because they used to rock out to No Doubt as kids.
Carrie just smiled when she remembered NKOTB concert with Kathy.
Carrie thinks it is hilarious when people interview here, you can always tell, they are wearing three piece suits.
Carrie is going pee.
Carrie is having to help someone with transmittals, is it really THAT hard?
Carrie is pretty excited, Right Said Fred is making a comeback! Remember I’m too Sexy??
Carrie just got the whole Britney “If you seek Amy” song controversy, it took entirely too long, she is old.
Carrie is listening to snippets of Jewel’s new lullaby cd and wondering if she likes it…
Carrie is checking her Amazon gold box
Carrie thinks the gold box deal sucks-who wants the Narnia movies on Blu-Ray?
Carrie is oh so smart with her sectioned printing (which took forever) and then her photocopying-secret book project-done!
Carrie’s top 7 favorite foods are burritos, French fries, nachos, her homemade tomato soup, grilled cheese, and Fat Potato Fat Fat (that was a top 3 but I had to expand.)
Carrie wonders what they are going to have for dinner tonite. She is thinking mac and cheese.
Carrie is shocked about how easy it is to make soup from scratch.
Carrie hates that they are building a new stadium in Sarpy County for the shitty Royals.
Carrie is cold.
Carrie has 10 minutes until lunch!
Carrie has lasagna for lunch.
Carrie wishes Pam was online so they could chat
Carrie is wondering what her Dad is doing.
Carrie wishes it was warm out so she could go running.
Carrie still feels like Bloaty McBloaterson
Carrie is going pee.
Carrie is getting ready to go eat lunch!!!

And that was only half my day people. Seriously-I should not be allowed to twitter. I shouldn’t even be allowed to facebook update. Don’t worry though, it won’t happen anytime soon, it’s blocked at my work and Seth isn’t buying me a new phone until 2009. Boo.
Have a great day everyone!
Love (to constantly update),
Carrie

Weekend of Love T minus 7 hours!

Happy Friday all! Whew! It took long enough to get here-didn’t it? I have a sneaking suspicion that today is going to eek by at the speed of smell.

I actually do NOT have a busy weekend lined up. At all. Hooray! Minus Sunday, and I’m just doing simple dips for that. And trying NOT to eat my weight in the delicious sounding bean and cheese dip I’m going to make.

So last night we went to Walmart and apparently Kevin Costner was there signing autographs because his band was in town. We walked ALL around that Walmart and never saw boo of him. Or the gigantic line they were talking about. Pam called me and I missed the call because my big fat rear was smothering my phone, but when I called her back she was like-did you see Kevin Costner and I was like, why would I see Kevin Costner-I’m at Walmart-and she was like I know!! So she filled me in, but at that point I was crabby that Walmart charged Seth 61 bucks to change his OIL in his truck. SIXTY-ONE BUCKS! And Pam sensed the angry and got off the phone with me pretty quick. And then this morning on the radio they were talking about what a big event it was and I was like, actually, Walmart seemed deserted last night…Weird, I don’t even know what I would have said IF I had met Kevin Costner. Probably-I loved your wedding pictures and you made my little brother cry once and I laughed at him and got grounded for it. That is all true. Also announced today in Omaha-George Clooney is coming to film a movie! Look at Omaha, up and coming! Big 'O', what-what??

So after much discussion, I have finally decided what kind of party March 13th (Friday the 13th) is going to be. It’s going to be a PAINTING/GAME PARTY!!! *cue wild cheers*

Here’s the details:
Friday March 13th, Seth and I are going to be painting our living room and dining room. We have 9 foot ceilings, it’s going to be a task to say the least. We are inviting you all, to show up and help us slap some paint on the walls, eat some pizza and drink some beer, and when we get it all done, play some games. I think that the more people we have the quicker it’s going to go. So if your interested let me know so I can get a head count for pizza, beer, and paint rollers. We are going to be doing a light blue toned tan in the living room, like an earthy tan, not a yellow tan. A dark chocolate on our three smaller pillared walls on the left side of the room, and a burgundy on the wall in the dining room that is smaller and shared with the kitchen. SO! We have big dreams! And we need your help! J If you want to participate! Let us know! We would love to feed you pizza and paint with you! Also when all is said and done we will have a plethora of games to play! Or if you just want to show up and tape off walls or eat pizza, that would be great too!

So that’s all the exciting news I have for you all today. So far anyway. I’m going off the grid this weekend until Sunday, I’m going to try and see how posting pictures goes here because I have pictures from cooking last weekend and will probably have pictures from this weekend too.
Hope you all have a weekend of Love like I am too!

Love, (always)
Carrie

Baby Come Back! Any kind of fool could see...THAT YOU SHOULD NOT LEAVE CARRIE ALONE FOR THE DAY.

The clock is making me crabby.
It has seemingly stopped and is holding me hostage here at work when all I want to do is go home, take off my bad idea outfit for the day and watch tv and eat some enchi’s.
I am very bored, and lonely. My usual entertainment (my friends who email me all day) have seemingly DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET OR BROKEN THEIR FINGERS IN A TRAGIC CAR DOOR ACCIDENT. Or forgotten about me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gotten a couple of responses, sporadically here and there. Some are forgiven, they have actual jobs, but ONE OF YOU I know is HOME and is all comfy on your couch watching TV and is ABOUT TO GET A PHONE CALL begging you to come back and chat with me. FOR THE SAKE OF THE WORLD. Or my sanity, which ever is more important to you-PAMELA. Even my husband is giving me the one to three word responses today. And I am sending long heart-filled rambly emails blubbering over my apparently lack in email popularity today. (Carrie is needy and paranoid-for those of you who do NOT know her that well…)
Kathy is getting a dog-I learned that from email. He is cute as can be and he is from Kansas. They get him in three weeks. The name is still being debated. I did get that news today. L’ara is getting new carpet (jealous!) and Pam and I are planning a party (that stopped being planned at 10 am this morning…)
Oh? What’s that? You want to hear about the bad idea outfit?? Sure, I’ve got nothing BETTER to do…
So today-in a coup de triumph of bad outfits, I wore a fake white fur lined cuffs and hood sweater my GRANDMA got me because I saw it in the back of my closet and thought-“Yesterday I sweat to death because my sweater was to thick, I will wear this sweater because it is thinner and I can take it off it gets too hot. And I will be smart enough NOT to wear an inappropriate tee shirt underneath it.” HAHA! Then I wore some pants I found on the floor. And my pink “BOOTS WIT DA FUR” hoping the whole NPP would be looking ME. Well I got to work and noticed that the fur was making me sneezy, but then I took off the sweater-as brilliantly planned and my dark blue tee shirt underneath looked like what can only be described as “Carrie lost a fight with a polar bear who had just rolled in a lint trap”. And the pants. Lo, friends, the pants. This is where I go into a digression.
I have recently lost a little weight. Okay a lot of weight, considering I was 140 in Sioux Falls. I’m not sure where the logic is in it. Seth says I learned portion control (which was NOT APPARENT LAST NIGHT WITH THE ALL YOU CAN EAT FRIES). I was exercising in Sioux Falls-REGULARLY!! No really-ask my personal trainer-he MADE me go, and if I did not he gave me this HUGE guilt trip and then would be gone from the apartment long enough that I would get lonely and bored. It was an evil trick because the next time he offered I said YES because I could not stand the lonely and bored and scary apartment noises. And then he made promises about my wedding dress and me looking stunning in it and him crying when I came down the aisle because I was so stunning (he did and I was-I have video proof). Tricky personal trainer/husband.
Anyway I continued to gain weight even while working out regularly. And controlling portions. Still tipping at 140.
Then I moved back to Omaha, promptly stopped working out and started a high stress job that brought me lunch from divine places sometimes (thanks Annie!) and planning a HIGHER THEN ON RECORD STRESS wedding. And magically-I lost 20 pounds. I’m pretty sure it was overnight.
In fat times, I had to upgrade all my jeans. I’m a jean FREAK, I own tons, ask my Dad or brother or Seth, they’ve carried the boxes. I bought cool chic jeans to make me feel better about my ever expanding backside. I thought, well its 2 sizes bigger-BUT IT’S SPARKLY!!!
I’m still wearing the Fat Jeans. (end digression)
And these jeans are the ones I picked up this morning from the floor.
I don’t know why I don’t get new jeans (*little voice* yes you do, because you want cooler things like flat screen tv’s and a steam cleaner and to EAT OUT and have your car paid off AND you feel good when your jeans aren’t strangling your Lady Parts) and I know why I don’t go back to the old ones-they are outdated and childish-some of them are LACE UP and have FLAME stitching and words like “Angel” stitched across my then tiny rear (*little voice* and you are afraid that you won’t fit back into them and the jeans you are wearing now are just stretched out and you are lying to yourself about your dramatic weight loss with no diet or exercise and you secretly suspect Seth of breaking the scale because he leaves his HEAVY FITNESS MAGAZINES (90% ads) on it all the time). So I’m constantly pulling my jeans up or trying to cover my exposed crack from hanging out the backside. Today I stepped on them and almost pulled them down to my thighs, thank GOD I was in the bathroom. I’m walking VERY carefully right now…
OH AND! AND! The jeans have a salt snow stain on them because they are the ones I wore last night to eat dinner with Pam and Jason. I noticed, as hurriedly tried not to fall into a bathroom stall. So that makes the bad idea outfit even better.
End story.
Have I mentioned that I’m bored and lonely today?
I actually did do lots of work, but I tend to have this pattern of work, email, work, email work. It gives me a nice flow. But when the email is cut out, I stare at the little icon at the bottom of the screen longingly and try and will an email to come to me. I think of witty things to say to people and by the time they do email me, I’ve forgotten it. I hate that. I take prolonged bathroom breaks because my mom has this theory that if your food takes forever in a restaurant just take a bathroom break and it will come, and it usually WORKS, so I applied that to emailing only to rush back to my computer after moseying around the office to see NO EMAILS or one email from Seth that says “Are you sure we need this now?” in reference to my MASSIVE research project of the best steam cleaner on the market.
*deep sigh*
I guess I’ll go spend the next 45 minutes reading Joshilyn Jackson’s blog…
Oh wait, first I will be horribly embarrassed when someone tells me that a patch of my underwear keeps creeping up...GREAT thanks for STALKING MY UNDERWEAR LINE TODAY. Okay it's official, I need to dig those jeans out...
Hope tomorrow goes faster!!
Love to you all!

PS-The sweater my grandma got me is actually really nice, it's very Russian, but I forgot it makes me sneezy which is why it was at the back of my closet...not because it was unbearably ugly or anything...

A blog in which I try to plan random things...

Happy Tuesday everyone!
I seriously cannot believe that it is only Tuesday. It feels like it should be Wednesday at the very least. Like I said, I’m sure this week is going to last FOREVER for me.
Our “Band of Brothers” came yesterday-Hooray! We got a nasty MUD bill *angry fist shake at raising natural gas prices* so I left it for Seth to open so he would feel better.
One of the first things I want to talk today is a question for our usual party crowd-Pam and I have the winter blah’s and was wondering if anyone would like to get together on March 13th (it’s Friday the 13th.) We feel that we need something to look forward too since there isn’t really a holiday for the next couple of months. We were thinking of either a scary movie viewing party, where we watch two or three scary movies and have like pizza or something (it’s less scary to watch them in groups I think) or a game night where we have lots of dipping snacks so people can get up and snack quick and get back to the game. What do you guys have more interest in? Any better ideas? Let me know what you think in the comments section below…
Speaking of parties, I have begrudgingly been forced into a STUPID bowl party. But I’m throwing this out there to everyone who is coming now-after the end you gotsa to home. I’ve got to be at work bright and early and if I am not in bed by 10 o’clock I get NASTY and could possibly crash on my way to work, and Seth and my family will blame you for keeping me up too late. No really, they will. Judge-y stares will happen at my funeral or hospital visitation. SO if you come, you must go home before 10. FYI. So far I know I will be serving a Greek dip from the parade section of the paper with toasted flat bread and sausages with fixings. BYOB. Seth is very excited. I’m very happy to feed people.
Let me know if you plan on coming AND LEAVING AT TEN!!! We would love to see you (and tell you goodbye at 10).
Let’s see what else? We had a LOVELY dinner with Pam and Jason last night at Ruby Tuesday’s, but we spent the first 10 minutes trying to find the “all you can eat fries” on the menu, which it was not, so Jason asked for me and they do have it!! But they do not advertise it! SNEAKY!!! In fact, I’m pretty sure if we had any other server they would have told me I was full of it. So anyway I got all you can eat fries and immediately regretted it on my third plate. And what’s with the tiny servings of ketchup? Why can’t you just give me a bottle? I’m pretty sure I’m over Ruby Tuesday’s for a really long time. It was REALLY expensive and they are sneaky ketchup withholding people. Plus Seth says he’s had better steak that he has paid less for. BUT! BUT! The company was great. We heard all about Pam and Jason’s vacation to Hawaii and they brought us PRESENTS!! So sweet. I’ve decided that they must be very fun on vacation because they do really cool stuff like climb mountains and go to arcades. And they take the BEST vacation pictures. I suspect that has something to do with Jason’s art background…I’ve decided that when Seth gets around to planning my secret vacation to Atlantis in the Bahamas (where he will send ahead my wedding dress and a tux and invite the entire wedding party for a 15 year reunion where THEY will bring their wedding attire) that Jason should take some of my wedding pictures renewal. It’s like a wedding vow renewal-but for the pictures, because I’m jealous of everyone’s tropical wedding pictures. So I want some of my own, and come on, when am I EVER going to get to wear my dress again? I think this is the PERFECT excuse to wear it again, go on vacation, and take lots of beautiful pictures that I really want. But Seth has to set it up in secret, so he will need Pam to be there anyway so she can take me on a beauty day and sneak in my crown and veil and tell the people how my hair has to look. She’s key in this. As is Jason now for his picture taking skills. Seth are you reading this and remembering!??! Better log this one away because this single handedly would make you the BEST husband ever. Just FYI.

So I found out that Kathy and Dan are not eating out for one month, I told you about this right? Well I found out more information from Dan that at the END of one month, they will have SAVED ENOUGH MONEY FOR A NEW FLAT SCREEN TV. I’m officially in. Starting February I think Seth and I are going to try and not eat out for a month. (Minus Valentine’s Day-where Seth is doing something romatical) and then at the end buy a TV for the bedroom, since officially our left speaker (my side) is out, and our TV on DVD that we get from Showtime is like anti-deaf people or something and refuses to caption their shows. Seriously Showtime? Seriously? Do you know how hard it is to understand mush mouth Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Henry the Eighth sometimes? I feel sorry for people who actually have to USE closed captioning, The Tudors is lost on them, which is sad because it’s a great show.
So anyway, back to the no eating out for TV-that is going to be SO hard. BUT-my cooking skills are improving and I’m confident that we can do it, as long as we plan ahead and make a lot of freezable meals. (Like lasagna or enchi’s or pot roast) I can eat a bean burrito everyday for the rest of my life and be perfectly happy. Seth on the other hand needs meat and variety. So I’ll let you know how we do with that!

In crazy cat lady news-Willow has officially become a Bengal. Seth called this morning to tell me she clean jumped onto the shower door and pulled herself up and commenced with helping him shower. Apparently she played with the water stream and chatted with him while he showered. I imagine the noise of our 13+ pound kitten jumping onto the shower door scared the crap out of him. It would me. Seth had to help her down, in typical cat fashion, she can get up but she can’t get down. This new skill comes on the heels of the drawer opening skills which are DRIVING ME CRAZY as Willow is a notorious hair tie thief and Bagheera is a notorious hair tie DESTORYER. They work in tandem. It’s like the Italian Job up in my house or something. You see them plotting and planning together in the hall and then Willow comes dashing into the room and lays on the bed. Then Bagheera distracts you with the rare cuteness/loveiness that he rarely displays. Willow commences with working her paws around the seam where the drawer and the stand meet and uses all of her body weight to swing it open. She jumps up quickly and grabs as many hair ties as she can out of the drawer and runs. Bagheera sees the plan has worked and chases her down the hall. Before you know it there is a sad little graveyard of eaten hair ties in the living room. I wish they would start eating something of Seth’s so he would CARE that they can open drawers now instead of thinking it was the coolest thing ever. Willow is currently perfecting her door opening skills by pulling on whatever we might have hanging from the door in hopes that it didn’t latch all the way. If she doesn’t get it open, she has successfully shredded whatever towel was on the back of the door.

Speaking of doors-I’ve been thinking of the doors in our house. Seth wants to redo the trim since it is this beat up ghastly blond wood color. Dad suggested painting it instead of buying all new (it’s not really worth the investment since hopefully we will be out of the house in 2-2.5 years) and I know when my Dad did that to his house he repainted a lot of the doors, which I want to do since they are looking a little rough, but I don’t know what color. White seems to clean for our house and won’t match all of our colors well. Maybe a darker brown stain? We have to make sure it covers the scratches and shoe bumps and furniture dents. Hopefully we get a nice refund back from the taxes and can afford to do the painting that we want. But I’m not sure about the trim and doors. I’ll have to talk to my Dad about that…
Well I’ve successfully rambled enough this morning. Remember to let me know what you think about the March 13th party and if you will be coming to the STUPID bowl party (and leaving at 10!) that we are throwing on Sunday.
Its drill day here at work which means you can only eat, drink, and use the bathrooms at designated times in the drill (the bathroom thing is KILLING me). So I’d better get ready for lunch!
Have a great day everyone!!