“She took a step and didn't want to take any more, but she did.” ― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

Consider A Move

The steady time of being unknown,
in solitude, without friends,
is not a steadiness that sustains.
I hear your voice waver on the phone:

Haven't talked to anyone for days.
I drive around. I sit in parking lots.
The voice zeroes through my ear, and waits.
What should I say? There are ways

to meet people you will want to love?
I know of none. You come out stronger
having gone through this? I no longer
believe that, if I once did. Consider a move,

a change, a job, a new place to live,
someplace you'd like to be. That's not it,
you say. Now time turns back. We almost touch.
Then what is? I ask. What is?” 
― Michael Ryan, New and Selected Poems

That's right people, a new chapter has started, we moved to Colorado Springs.  For Seth's work.  And I am trapped in a 500 foot hotel room for thirty days with my two small children.  Which is loads better than yesterday when I was was trapped in a car for 600 miles with two small children.
Being the responsible wonderful mother that I am, I abstained from my addiction, Facebook updating.  But I had a LOT of moments where I wanted to update my rampant thoughts.
Like the following:
Whoever gave my daughter 650 stickers for her birthday, THANK YOU, she has been quietly placing them on paper for 200 miles now.
My husband's cruise control is broken, or his foot is, because he cannot maintain the speed he seems to think he is driving.
Jesus Denver drivers will cut in front of you with a hair of space and not even blink.  I don't think I puckered so much in my whole life.
I have callouses on my hands from driving.
I am NEVER making this drive alone with these two kids again.
I feel like a one armed tour director.
JESUS son, work with me here.  If I give you something to do, do it, don't quarterback it to the door so when I open the door at the pit stops all this shit falls out on me.
Wait, how much play-dough did Evie just eat?  God, I hope I don't see that later.

So as you can imagine it was a long trip.

So now we are here, living hotel life, for at least two weeks, we close on the house and while we still have another two weeks in the hotel, at least we can go over to the house and explore the neighborhood and paint some walls.  So far, I don't mind the hotel life.  I haven't let the maid in yet, and I've survived my first lunch.  If Lukas would sleep past 8 that would be nice.  One of the BEST parts is that the hotel has a dinner provided three days a week.  So three days a week I don't have to worry about what to make for dinner.
The downside is that we have four carloads (I sent Seth with truckloads on both of his trips back to Omaha) of junk just piled in every nook and cranny of our room, so I feel bad making them trying to work around our shit, but one thing we remembered about our first stay here was the tiny ass trash cans so we brought a giant one and now I to figure out how to empty it since it is stinking up the whole damn room.

I also have to fight every day not to have a complete emotional breakdown over leaving my family and friends.  But yesterday I lost that battle, luckily after I had the kids asleep and I was in my bath.

So here we are on day 1.  So far everyone is in one piece, we had mac and cheese for lunch, and we went for a walk with minimal drama, and we missed the maid.  So I'm putting today in the win column.

Love, (that day one was do able),
Carrie