If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it.

The weather grows cooler and I feel the need to wax poetical about how much I love this time of year. I love the feeling that fall brings, sort of like a settling in. Its like, spring everyone wants to open up and get everything out and clean, start afresh. Summer everyone wants to be outside and enjoying the sun and doing productive activities outside and cultivating life outside. Fall feels like the outdoor adventurous part is over and now we are settling down for the winter, canning things, preparing things. In our house we have rearranged the closets. I finally conceded the master closet to Seth. He needs the space as his career and wardrobe grow more respectable. Plus I was tired of having to reiron shirts that had been smashed into his closet.
Also I'm not that person anymore who cares to have 65 pairs of dress slacks, shirts, and skirts. I've finally let go of my desire to hang onto my youth and "fashionable" identity I worked so hard to cultivate in my teens and early twenties. Now I wear t-shirts, and I save my nice clothes for when I leave my house. I find I'm a lot less angry or disappointed when my kid poops on a shirt I got for free from a chiropractor.
Today I accidentally answered the door with no pants on. I was wearing a long tshirt I got free when I bought the "Troy" directors cut DVD. I could have sworn I was wearing my gym shorts, in fact I was not. And the revelation of the fact that I was not wearing pants came to me in the middle of a kid's song and dance about me needing to buy wrapping paper so his school could buy gym equipment or something. I quickly told him no and backed away slowly into the house careful not to lift my arms any higher. Yeah its come to that people. Somewhere a kid was sitting around his dinner table or writing on his friends facebook about the crazy lady with a flirty baby who answered the door with no pants on. I am that woman. So I'm going to own the identity and stop pretending I still need my white pant suit, which I'm sure, people could see my underwear thru as well.

Here is a random Motherhood TMI for you all-
I remember reading in Cosmo that blue balls wasn't real. I also remember rolling my eyes and scoffing at boyfriends claiming I gave it to them and calling me a prude.
People, breastfeeding has given me a phenomenon which I can only attribute the pain of as to that of what I have heard blue balls described as. (Kind of like when men say having a kidney stone is like the pain of childbirth)
I get blue boobs. Evelynn has started this thing where if there is anything remotely more interesting in the room- one of the cats, Seth talking, the television, my cell phone, a flying piece of dust- while she is breastfeeding instantly she yanks off the boob and has to play, talk, or watch it. There is this part of breastfeeding where you are like AHHHHH and all the swelling and pain go down and you get this relief that sometimes gives you goosebumps. Also it causes a waterfall of milk. Doctors call it "let down" I call it "OH THANK GOD." It takes a couple minutes of good strong sucking to get to that point. Also a good latch. With Evelynn's newfound attention span of a gnat, sometimes she gets you right to the edge of that point and the screws off and it is the worst pain in the world and it is so hard not to be so mad at her.
So I get blue boobs. And I imagine I owe an apology to all my high school and some of my college boyfriends. But not really about that apology thing. You all can go suck it you pushers. So I thought I'd share that little friendly motherhood tmi for you, because I know that is what you really come to this blog for.

Alright friends, it's two in the morning, I just got Evelynn in a deep enough sleep that I can sneak off and take a nice long bath and enjoy my book. But I missed you all so I thought I would say hello

Love (snuggling on these fall nights with Seth and Evie),
Carrie

PS if you head over to our photographer's website (http://www.ajzphoto.com/) he has redone his site and we are featured on it in his banner! I feel kind of special and beautiful because I know that when I was picking him I did it based on his work from his site and to know that other people might be doing it and thinking about how lovely my family is, well it just makes me all proud as a peacock. Yay!