Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

Romance.  Its a topic that has been on my mind a bit this week, since I had a conversation with a friend last week.
I was doing my normal bitching about the rigors of co-sleeping and the four hundred dollar crib now toddler bed that my daughter thinks is a place to play, and not to sleep.  The bitching I normal don't do in public or on social media because let's face it, its my own damn fault.  I'm the one with attachment/sleeping issues which I lovingly project onto my daughter.  Anyway after my usual diatribe of "foot in my face", "humane butane heater", and "bed hog" my dear friend said "I'm cool with the co-sleeping thing and I get it, but what about the romance?"  I quickly jumped in- "Oh there is romance, there is plenty of romancing...here *points* and over there *points* and sometimes *points* back in there." and then we laughed.
But it got me thinking later, what about the romance?
After much back in forth in my head, I've come to this conclusion.  At least in my relationship, when we had a baby, the romance changed.  And not for the worse, like you might be thinking.  It changed in the way I viewed my husband.  No longer do lusty glances, secret squeezes, sweet nothings, surprise dinners, or thoughtful gifts trip my trigger anymore.  (Although, let's not get hasty here, they don't hurt)  But now seeing my husband be a dad gets me more romance than I can deal with some days.  Watching Seth chase Evelynn around the house, listen to all of her baby babble like she is telling him the greatest story he ever heard, feeding her lunch, carrying her around the store, watching her fall asleep on his shoulder as he sways back in forth to the song that he is humming- that is my new romance.
Which is lame, I know, maybe it is another new thing about motherhood I'm learning about and is changing me, for the better.
Like the new fact that I someone who LIVES for winter and snow and bad weather, am praying the weather gets warmer so I can take my kid outside and run her until she collapses in her new toddler bed from exhaustion.

Love (the new romance),
Carrie

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