How is it she is stronger than I am? She's a baby! We are trying to help you!

Last night I watched the new show "Up all night" and while I liked it, there were parts I could do with out and parts I could do with more.  Basically I wanted the show to be about how crazy it is to be a stay at home mom, after being a working woman.  And how crazy it is to have a kid change your life.  Because trust me, it can be pretty funny.
Here is an example of how my day goes.

7:15- Wake up and make my husband (who gets to escape, I mean goes to work) coffee, breakfast, and lunch. I also have to pack him a water bottle and his protein shake for the gym.

7:45- I usually eat something myself, because besides my job of being a parent, I also am on a mission to EAT EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE and then cry at least daily about my jeans not fitting.
While I'm devouring breakfast, I usually check the blog roll for my couponing fix.  I also stalk all my friend/ex coworkers on facebook and secretly scowl in jealously about their posts about being on their way to work or what a long workday they have ahead of them.

8:00- Seth leaves for work, I go back to bed.  I should stay up and do productive stuff.  I've secretly thought of trying one of those work at home programs where I would answer service phone calls about websites or something, because trust me, we could use the money.  But knowing my kid, she would wake up right as I sign in.  Because my kid can't sleep alone.  She is like me.  She is a cuddler and if she reaches out to pinch your neck and you aren't there CHAOS ENSUES.  Usually before I get back in bed, I refill her milk and change a ginaormous pee pee diaper, because if I don't she usually pees out her diaper and then I have to change the sheets and lysol the mattress.

10:30 or 11- By this time I've slept too much and feel like I need to sleep all day but of course the kid sits up and starts poking me and talking to me and torturing whatever cat has braved sleeping next to me.  I have a sleep hangover headache but force myself up anyway.  The last few days she has been getting up at 9 and 10 and I've been turning PBS on, handing her her milk and going back to sleep for an hour.  When I get up the first thing I have to do is pee.  Then I have to sit the kid on the toilet, because according to everyone who knows everything consistency is the key in potty training.
She sits on the can with the radio on, her books, and a ottoman to prop her feet up (because the kiddie stools don't help with tiny legs) for about 20 minutes.  I get dressed, wash out the milk container, pick out her clothes and a new diaper.  I turn on the PBS in the living room for her because if I don't MELTDOWN ENSUES and usually a cat is harmed in the process.  I open the screen door to give the cats the freedom they beg for and then stand there for a minute longingly looking out the door envying their sojourn in the grass.
Then I hear "MA!?  MAAAAAA!!!" signalling to me that Evelynn is ready to get off the can.  I take her off and wipe everything down and pray that she hasn't reached something and tossed it in between her legs.  I put the toilet paper back on the holder since Evelynn really really likes wiping her lady bits and will use a whole roll to do so.  By this time Evie reminded me that she gets to brush her teeth in the morning aka suck toothpaste of her toothbrush and mimic brushing her teeth when I scold her.
Then we go into living room and I change her diaper and clothes.  And try not to get in the way of her cartoons.  Lest I get screeched at.  Then I go to start lunch.

12:00 - I used to make Evelynn her own special lunch.  Healthy and wonderful and loving and all I'm a good mom-ish.  Evelynn never ate it.  I would eventually give up and chalk it up to "she isn't hungry and is just going to graze like the doctor said" and make my own lunch, sit down and commandeer the TV.  Here comes Evelynn with her mouth wide open and her little hand signing please like she is dying of starvation.  *sigh*
I feed her most if not all of my lunch and go into the kitchen to clean up and start my electric kettle for my fourth pot of hot tea.
Evelynn has also consumed most of my hot tea.  No matter how much I admonish her that it is "Hot" or that it is "Mommy's".  She will put her little mouth over my giant mug and huff into the cup repeatedly and slurp it down.  Back off and exclaim "OW" and then go back for more.  Once she ran off and came back with a straw.  God know where she got it or how long it had been in said secret place or what it was used for previously or how much mold may have accumulated on the inside of the straw.

1:00- At this point in the day I realize I have forgotten some vital part of my personal routine.  I have forgotten to wash my face, brush my teeth, or most days, put on pants.  Hopefully I haven't learned of this misstep because I went out to the mailbox and the workmen across the street trying to save the roof of the house they screwed up but only work on one day a week stared at me in abject horror.  But most days, that's when I found out.

The rest of our day is up in the air.  Some days, blessed days we have playdates or cooking dates with other moms.  But those are getting few and far between since the truck broke down and my husband can't be bothered to fix it.  Also since my kid started biting other kids and drawing enough blood that it requires the first aid kid.
Most days I make a mental list of all the things a good stay at home mom/wife would do like clean the house or make a structured school day to teach my toddler everything she needs to blow the other kids out of the water at preschool and then I lay on the couch and watch PBS cartoons or Little Einsteins or Garfield.  And cuddle under the duvet with the kid.  Checking my phone and stalking my friends on facebook and admonishing them mentally for not being more interesting and posting as much as I do in a day.  I post random thoughts and get myself blocked from about 99% of my friends news feeds.
Sometimes I get a wild hair and work on the 1000 embroidery or crotchet projects I have started as Christmas presents and am no where near finishing.
I check the blog roll and do some couponing.
I count the seconds until Seth comes home, but there is never a definite on that so I count the seconds until the real world gets off work and I can start bugging them.
I send about 400 emails and texts from my phone.  Usually of the kid doing cute things.
At some point in the day, if the weather is nice, we take the wagon to the park and Evelynn plays and eats rocks and I try to read a book.  Sometimes we take a full walk and sometimes I go to the backyard and work in the garden or pick up rotten apples.
I've usually spent a good portion of the day yelling at Evelynn for doing something horrible and thrown her in time out.  Then spent 10 minutes cuddling and explaining to Evelynn why she can't bite/throw things at peoples heads/dump snacks on the floor/spit apple juice at me/hit me/lay on the cats/mess with my phone or the laptop/pinch my neck/mess with the remote/eat cat food/eat cat poop/rip pages out of books/eat foam/hang from the oven door/draw on herself with a pen/use scissors to cut holes in her sweatpants.
There is also the drama of various personal maintenance chores for Evelynn.  Cutting fingernails or toenails is an almost daily task since I can only hold her down for so long before her screams of holy terror cause the neighbors to come by to make sure I am not covering her little body up in the bathtub with cat litter.  That is usually the length of one hand.  Then there is brushing her hair and trying to keep it out of her eyes or keeping her from ripping out the barrettes or ponytail holders I spent hours wrestling her down and putting in her hair in an attempt to make her look like she didn't just get let out of the closet for the first time in a month.
We've also spent at least 50% of the day in the bathroom coaxing out poops or pees following the complicated routine of setting her up in the bathroom (radio on, books and laptop, moving the toilet paper out of reach, moving anything that she can fit between her legs out of reach, move the shower curtain out of reach, plop her on the toilet, sing the song, and walk away because she doesn't like you to watch, then walk by the door pretending to look busy and making sure she hasn't thrown anything in the toilet or gotten off because sometimes if you leave her too long she gets off and then wipes her ass on the seat and the floor and the ottoman-FUN).
I also spend a good portion of the day changing her clothes after she rubs food or spills on them, finding and putting back on her socks, chasing her around to wipe her face off and ultimately failing while she uses my shirt or the couch or a cat as a napkin instead.
Seth usually calls around 7 to tell me he is on his way home.  Some days his brother shows up and takes her for an hour and then mows the lawn.  Some days my parents rescue me, I mean her.  Some days, when I have a vehicle I get to go shopping with her or to my folks to let her run around and destroy her house.
But on the days that we can't escape and Seth is on his way home I spend that 25 minutes (because he drives slower than a drunk blind man driving) running around picking up the house and trying vainly to make it look like I didn't spend most of the day laying on the couch in defeat or chasing around the kid screaming at it, or hiding behind the laptop listening to pitbull and forcing our kid to perform for the camera.  Or that I spent half the day scheming on how to go back to work.
Usually he walks in the door and Evelynn runs up to hug him and I'm free to start dinner or do whatever it is that I need to do to detox my brain from mom mode, usually watch Anderson and Ellen.  We eat dinner, play around, talk about our days, sometimes we go for a walk.
At 9 we alternate on who gets to do Evelynn's bed time routine.  She gets a long bath and someone gets to wrestle a diaper and pj's on her and lotion her down and brush her hair.  Then she gets to watch Sesame Street on Netflix in the bedroom by herself and Seth and I spend that hour watching our own shows.  Lucky days she falls asleep on her own, but usually after one Sesame Street one of us has to go in there and lay down with her until she falls alseep.  Usually that is Seth while I take a bath.
I spend the next few hours, because Seth is usually asleep too, reading my kindle, playing scrabble, eating food in the kitchen, trying to turn my brain off.

So that is what "Up All Night" should be about.  The hilarious moments where you are chasing a naked kid out into you backyard while the neighbors sit on there deck and smoke cigarettes.
I know it sounds like a lot of complaining, but you know what makes it worth it?  When your kid says something you have been trying to teach them for months, or when she smiles at you for no reason, or runs up to hug you and give you a kiss, or laughs at you when you are at that moment between utter defeat or hysterical laughter, or when she is sleeping at the end of the night, clearly exhausted, and cuddles up to you and sighs a sigh of perfect content.  Those are the moments that make being a new stay at home mom completely worth it and they cancel out all those other moments where you thing to yourself "WHAT WAS I THINKING NOT WORKING??"

Love (being a stay at home mom),
Carrie

With each new day comes new strengths and new thoughts.

I think I might be ready to write this post...Maybe.  Well at least I'm ready to say it out loud to the internets.  Last month, I lost a baby.  Here are the facts, because for some reason its easier to start with the facts...
We were about 12 weeks along when we found out.  We went in for our twelve week check up and our first ultrasound and they could not find a heartbeat.  When they went in for the ultrasound they saw a sac of blood under the placenta, indicating that my body was already breaking down and preparing to abort the baby.  Our doctor (who throughout this I will saw was fantastic, as we knew she would be after our first pregnancy with Evelynn.) thought the baby died, based on its measurements, sometime around seven or eight weeks.
At first, right after they told us, I laughed and made inappropriate jokes.  I kept telling them it was ok.  That I knew something wasn't right.
At that moment, all I wanted was to crawl in a hole and die.  All I could think about was having to tell all the people I promised Seth I wouldn't tell that I did tell that my baby was dead.   
I have to sidebar here-
I struggled greatly with writing this post.  One of the hardest parts of losing a baby during pregnancy, especially early pregnancy, is that no one talks about it.  No one brings it up, no one asks how you are doing, no one but you seems to mourn your baby the same way you do. 
Also because I wanted to share and hopefully connect with other people my age who this might have happened to.  It seems like the only people who talk about having miscarriages are people who had them 20 years ago.  Making it hard for me to connect.  I also have trouble connecting because the way we "evacuated the fetus" is by a new pill/at home method called cytotec, where most people opt for the D&C.  There were too many risks associated with that procedure for me.  So when I read blogs or talk to people they had the d&c and we did the at home pill, its hard for me to connect.
So that's why I've come out.  Today I read that miscarriage is called "the silent sorrow" and I find that to be a very accurate statement.  But I don't want to be silent anymore. 
I also read that a good way to combat the post partum depression is to journal and since this my journal I will try to write here.
So that's where I'm at emotionally. Some days are good but I'm still having more bad than good.  Mostly its the nights that are the hardest, when the world gets quiet and there is no busy work or handful one year olds to occupy your mind.  And there is rarely anyone to talk to when your brain runs away with you into the irrational.
So that's all I can muster to ramble.  I hope later I can write more cohesive thoughts that can actually help people!

Love (getting it out there),
Carrie

A colt is worth little if it does not break its halter.

So my kid is a bully.  And she is bossy.  We had a play date this week where my kid ate dirt, fish hooked a little boy and pulled him around, stole toys, climbed into other Mom's laps when they were trying to interact with their kids and got in their faces.  She ate dirt out of the plants around the house, destroyed beautiful picture displays, and made EVERY SINGLE KID AT THE PLAY DATE CRY.
Luckily, I was there with my good, patient, understanding (PLEASE STILL HANG OUT WITH US!!!) Mom friends Jen and Kelley and their intelligent, tolerant, beautiful (NO REALLY, PLEASE!!!  DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HER!) kids.  I linked their blogs so you can what a good mother looks like.
Honestly, I don't know what to do.  I'm 1/3 of the way thru the discipline book Jen lent me.  But all signs point to, you can't really discipline a one year old.  Which means- no more eating out for the Hellbusch's.
We went to IHOP last week and Evelynn spilled syrup, a glass of water, was generally loud, screechy, and obnoxious.  She kept "giving" the people in the booth packets of sugar.  They asked to be moved.  We were so embarrassed.  Seth just kept his head down and shoveled food in his mouth while I spent the meal apologizing, shushing, unsticking things, swatting things out of her reach, and generally cursing Seth for saddling me with this kid.
But I still love him.  And her.  I just am going to be getting a lot of take out the next few years.
Speaking of my terrible child, I just caught her putting her socks in the toilet.  I'd better go fish them out.
Hope you all have a great weekend!!

Love (my terrible child),
Carrie

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

Romance.  Its a topic that has been on my mind a bit this week, since I had a conversation with a friend last week.
I was doing my normal bitching about the rigors of co-sleeping and the four hundred dollar crib now toddler bed that my daughter thinks is a place to play, and not to sleep.  The bitching I normal don't do in public or on social media because let's face it, its my own damn fault.  I'm the one with attachment/sleeping issues which I lovingly project onto my daughter.  Anyway after my usual diatribe of "foot in my face", "humane butane heater", and "bed hog" my dear friend said "I'm cool with the co-sleeping thing and I get it, but what about the romance?"  I quickly jumped in- "Oh there is romance, there is plenty of romancing...here *points* and over there *points* and sometimes *points* back in there." and then we laughed.
But it got me thinking later, what about the romance?
After much back in forth in my head, I've come to this conclusion.  At least in my relationship, when we had a baby, the romance changed.  And not for the worse, like you might be thinking.  It changed in the way I viewed my husband.  No longer do lusty glances, secret squeezes, sweet nothings, surprise dinners, or thoughtful gifts trip my trigger anymore.  (Although, let's not get hasty here, they don't hurt)  But now seeing my husband be a dad gets me more romance than I can deal with some days.  Watching Seth chase Evelynn around the house, listen to all of her baby babble like she is telling him the greatest story he ever heard, feeding her lunch, carrying her around the store, watching her fall asleep on his shoulder as he sways back in forth to the song that he is humming- that is my new romance.
Which is lame, I know, maybe it is another new thing about motherhood I'm learning about and is changing me, for the better.
Like the new fact that I someone who LIVES for winter and snow and bad weather, am praying the weather gets warmer so I can take my kid outside and run her until she collapses in her new toddler bed from exhaustion.

Love (the new romance),
Carrie

A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

When I first got pregnant, and we were discussing me leaving work to stay home with Evelynn, we were also in the midst of making a huge decision regarding our communication.  We were trying to decide if it was finally time for us to move up to smartphones.  My brother had a smart phone for about a year, and I thought it was pretty dang cool.  Plus, we were finally going to qualify to use Seth's work discount on our phone bill.  So I thought it was about time for us to jump into the smartphone world.  Seth wasn't so sure.  He made the argument, that since I was going to be a stay at home Mom, all I would really need is a phone to make calls.  If I needed the computer, I could just walk over and use it.
Man was he ever wrong.
My entire existence revolves around my smartphone.  In fact, I rarely use the computer anymore, unless I need to print coupons, or blog.  And I can blog from my phone (although, it is a pain).  I email my family and friends, check my social networking sites, browse the net, and I use a ton of apps.  I have an app to keep Evelynn busy, I have an app that is a pedometer for our long walks, I have a fertility tracker app, I have an app that finds ANYTHING I need in any town.
I can use my smartphone while Evelynn is napping on me, playing outside eating rabbit turds, on a walk, out at the zoo, out at the stores, and while everyone is finally asleep at night- I catch up on my twitter and facebook stalking.
I take videos and pictures of Evelynn and upload them to facebook or email them to family.  I can send a friend a thank you for their gift to Evelynn by shooting a quick picture or video of her using the gift and emailing them.
I use my smartphone to coupon too.  I keep my lists on my phone.  I double check prices and posts about what coupons to use.  I also get up to date couponing site posts sent to my phone.
I get recipes sent to my phone so its super easy to keep them at the forefront of my mind while I whip up something yummy.
I blackberry message with Seth while he is in class.
So needless to say, my phone helps me be a better Mommy, and I think its about time we upgraded.  I wonder if I can get one that is construction grade to keep up with my destructive baby...

This just may be me, but man, I love watching Seth with Evelynn.  Lately, since he hasn't had class (spring break) he has been around a lot more and he has been really really good about helping out with Evelynn.  When he get home, we take a family walk, and play/work in the yard.  With it staying lighter longer, it has really helped out.  He helps make dinner and clean up afterwards.  And he's getting things done around the house.  I can't tell you how amazing it has been.  I can't wait for his school to get over!!
This week he switched Evie's bed over to a toddler bed (*heartbreaks*) and we have been trying (unsuccessfully) to get her to sleep in it.  Now usually, Seth is pretty bad at getting Evelynn to sleep, or even putting her back to bed if she wakes up and realizes we aren't there or she wasn't wear she was when she went to sleep.  If I'm in the shower, he will bring her in and wake her up even more and I have to get out and put her back to bed and pray she doesn't wake her up so much she thinks she needs to stay up until three am.  But last night, I rocked her to sleep, and put her in the toddler bed and then skipped to the bathroom planning on a long lovely bath.  As soon as I settled in with my new book from paperbackswap.com I heard her crying.  Then I cried.  I started to get out and I heard Seth go in.  I peeked out of the door to give him a list of suggestions to calm her down until I could wash my hair and face and dry off.  But he had her, calmly even though she was SCREAMING, rocking back and forth.  He was saying "Its okay, Daddy can take care of it, Daddy can make it okay too."  So I decided to leave them and see how it would play out.  He actually got her calmed down and almost back to sleep, until I turned the hall light off.  I was so proud of him!  And my heart got all melty and my ovaries tingled and I realized I had one good Dad on my hands.  I think with warmer weather on the horizon and Evelynn growing up a little more and being able to communicate with Seth a little more, I might get more time off then I realized!  What am I going to do with myself???
Maybe I'll get back in the kitchen, I'm pretty dead set on making my own butter with my kitchen aid-butter prices are ridiculous!!

Love (Daddies who give me smartphones),
Carrie

If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day.

Hello blog world!  Long time no read!  As you might have imagined, being a Mom all day and night long is quite the undertaking.  Especially Evelynn.  Sometimes she plays independently but most of the time you have to at least keep one eye on her while she destroys the house.  And usually shits her pants three times a day.  Ahh motherhood.

We stopped breastfeeding last month.  (which by the way, was heartbreaking, more than I thought it would be.  I thought it would be totally liberating, and it wasn't, it was a randomly start crying at weird times of day thing) And the day of Evie's birthday party, I got my first period the day of her birthday party.  How fortuitous.  So now we are starting the process of trying all over again.  I think I blocked everything I learned about conception last time.  When you are in the middle of trying to conceive, you absorb so much information and it just envelopes you and becomes your every thought.  For some reason, everything I spent a year absorbing has gone right out my head.  I couldn't remember anything!  So now I'm trying to relearn everything.  Thank goodness for the internet!

As Evelynn grows older and more independent, I sometimes find myself resenting her independence.  I want her to stay tiny and needing me forever.  The resentment started when she stopped breastfeeding.  I thought, for the rest of my life, she is slowly going to need me less and less.  How do I handle this?  Without being bitter and a bad mom?  So I try to count my blessings with her.  But, sometimes the resentment sneaks in, but the sentiment always has the best intentions.  Like this:
-I'm so glad you are able to feed yourself Evelynn!  Yay!  Wait no, stop smashing cheese into the carpet.  Sit still!  No the kitty doesn't want your cheese.  Damn it!  Hey do you want to breastfeed?  No?  *Sob*
-Evelynn, you want me to read this book to you?  Yay!  I'm glad you love books!  Okay *reads book* All done!  What you want me to read it again?  *repeat x4* okay Mommy cannot read "Curious Kitties" anymore.  Please.  Go find something else to read.  Please??
-Yay!  Evelynn is talking!  Listen to all her funny sounds and words.  I wonder what she is saying?  I'm so glad she's talking. *four hours of continuous babbling later*  Evie!  Let's try using our whisper voice!  No, not shouting, whisper!
-Oh look!  She can open drawers!  She is so smart!  Wait, why is she pulling everything out of the drawers...stop it!  No!  No!  Where did I put that safety locking crap?
-Evie's getting teeth!  They are so cute.  Look she is giving my arm a kiss!  OWWW!  No biting!  Shit they are like kitten teeth, they are so sharp!  What the hell??

Well, at least she's beautiful when she sleeps.

Love (growing up),
Carrie

Evelynn is ONE!

Evelynn Ann Hellbusch turned 1 year old on March 3^rd, 2010!

Can you believe it!? How time has flown!

Here are some highlights of Evelynn's first year of life-

March 2010- Started holding her head up and smiling. She was baptized at St. John's Lutheran Church in Columbus Nebraska. Her Godparents were Uncle Cody Hellbusch and Aunt Kathy Hagen. Grandma and Grandpa Busch threw her a big party afterwards with lots of great food!

April 2010- Evelynn spent her first day away from Mommy when we went to the Christensen Wedding. She loved going on walks in her stroller!

May 2010- Daddy went on his first business trip since her birth and was away for a week and it was very hard for him! Evelynn went to her first auction.

June 2010- Learned to roll over! Loved to take her diaper off, play in her joey jump up and loves her piano. Spent her first night away from home at School of Christian Missions in Grand Island.

July 2010- Started trying real food. Uncle Jesse made her fresh food with veggies from Grandma and Grandpa Whitehead's garden. I love to push myself up and see what's going on. I had my first time at a pool and on a swing and I loved it!

August 2010- Started to crawl and eating Gerber snacks. Went to the zoo for the first time with Grandma and Grandpa Busch and Uncle Chet. Was in her first parade!

September 2010- Loved to have you build towers so she can knock them over. Started using recognizable words like “Mama” “Dada” and “kitty” Perfected crawling and moved onto walking.

October 2010- First Halloween! She dressed as a tiger. Loves to play independently and getting into everything!

November 2010- First Thanksgiving! Loved to exclaim “Whoa!” and “Wow!” at everything. Loves going shopping and eating cupcakes! A big dancer, everything gets a dance break. Especially if there is music playing!

December 2010- First Christmas! She was spoiled rotten! Loves to play Chase, tag, and peek a boo. Loves cuddling with her kitties and swimming and playing in the snow. I talk on Skype to everyone! Most of all I love reading books and putting on my pretty necklaces.

January 2011- Calls the kitties “Whoa-whoa” (Willow) and “Boh-Boh” (Bagheera). Loves to play her new piano and sing. Loves putting on dress up clothes and doing fashion shows. Puts on hats, hairbands, scarves, and pretty skirts.

February 2011- First trip to the emergency room with a high fever! Loves signing words and playing with her friend Alexis. Loves playing outside and riding her bike. Has a very feisty temper!!

March 2011- Had a big birthday party with all my friends and loved ones! Can't wait to see what next year brings!!

Thanks to everyone who loved, supported, prayed, and helped us thru this year! We couldn't have done it without you!

Love,

Carrie, Seth, and Evie

I am the mother of a one year old toddler *drops dead*

Evelynn is one year old today.  Holy shit.  I don't know how to feel about it sometimes.  At times I feel overwhelmed.  There were times when I wasn't sure we were going to make it to this point.  I wonder if that was a new mom thing or a NICU baby thing?  I just can't believe a year has gone by.  Like my Dad said "time flies when your having fun", so true.  I can't wait to celebrate her birthday with all of our family and friends who really helped not only bring her into this world, but helped everyday with making her the best she can be, and alternately helping us be the best we can be as parents. 
Thank you everyone.  From the bottom of our hearts.

And now on a different topic. 
How can I clean up baby poop and vomit and God knows what else, but when it comes to anything involving the cats bodily fluids, I can't handle it.  Neither can Seth.  For some reason, Bagheera has been throwing up.  I'm pretty sure its the cheap food I've been feeding him (WHAT I HAD A COUPON!)  But he is just going to have to suffer until I get thru the four bags I got.  He doesn't have to eat the dry food.  He can get the three hundred treats I have or the fancy wet food that I give him everyday.  (And trust, he reminds me EVERY DAY that he needs it)  Anyway long story short, for the last three days I've been cleaning up cat barf.  Also because Seth has been uber busy with work, I've been responsible, for my own sanity, with scooping the cat pooper.  I say my own sanity because I hate walking around my house going "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL??" all day and then having Seth go "I don't know, I can't smell anything." or Evelyn just stare at me blankly as if to say "if it was me, you would know it".  So the first thing I do is check the garbage because we got these new bags from Sam's Club that aren't worth a shit. (It really pisses me off.  They were the exact same bags we always grab from Sam's, but for some reason they changed them and now they are complete crap.  And I only have about five thousand more bags to get rid of before I can get new ones.)  Then I check under the couches and pick up Evelynn's toys in case there is some errant food left behind (there usually is) and then, if all else fails, I scoop the cat pan.
And I gag.  I gag the whole time.  My eyes water because I'm gagging.  Retching.  Coming thisclose to vomiting all over.  What the hell.  I don't breathe out of my mouth in fear of spilling my guts everywhere. 
So last night, we heard the tell tell "huuuuuughgghghgh" and I made Seth go look.   Bagheera had barfed on the stairs.  To his credit, he doesn't barf on the carpet.  Usually a surface I can clean up.  Thanks Bags.
So this is how the conversation went:
Seth: Yeah he barfed, its everywhere *retches* oh I can't handle it.
Me: You can't handle it?  This is like the third pile I will have picked up today.  (a slight exaggeration)
Seth: *gets grump* fine.
Me: Okay if I clean it up, I get to take a bath, uninterrupted, no guilt.
Seth: (too quickly) fine, yes!
Me: Shit.

So then I pick it up.  And while I am swiping the squish grossness under a paper towel while wearing some gloves I stole from the ER while Evelynn was there (What?  If you had seen how much they charged us for leaving us alone in a room for two hours you would have stole everything in sight too, I was nervous and angry) I just started throwing up into the bag of throw up.  It was so horrible. 
But I got a long bath out of the deal.
If I had to do it all over again, I probably would.

So I'm off to enjoy a hopefully barf free day with my ONE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.  *gulp*

Love (my birthday girl),
Carrie

Bagheera, Willow, and Evelynn

Whoa-Whoa and Boh-Boh.  That's what Evelynn calls the cats.  I thought maybe I should blog about them, because I hadn't in a while, and I know that some of you come just to hear their exploits.  Also because when I first was pregnant, I couldn't find any info on BABIES AND BENGALS.  I put that in uppercase in hopes that if someone googles BABIES AND BENGALS they will come here, instead of just really cute pictures of Bengal Kittens.  Which, don't get me wrong, were a lot of fun to look at, but not informative at all. 
So what did we do once we were pregnant, well we asked the vet about it, and he really didn't have any info about preparing them for it.  Seth's Mom got us a CD of baby noises, specially made for pets to get them used to it.  They kind of just looked at the computer speakers and found somewhere else to be.
From the get go the cats were protective of my pregnant belly.  We spent many a nights cuddled together and me pushing them off the top of my belly with Evelynn alternately kicking them thru the womb.  I remember I felt like they knew before we did that I was pregnant because for the first time ever, they felt they had to sit RIGHT ON TOP OF MY LAP.  
When we brought Evelynn home, they were very curious.  They peeked thru the slats of the crib at her, climbed into my lap to sniff her.  Slowly though, they became less tolerant of her and a little more possessive of us.  These days, its a fight for attention and lap space when Seth and I sit down anywhere. 
In the mornings we can always count on Bagheera being right on top of us, looking for love and attention as soon as he hears us stir. 
Bagheera is VERY tolerant of Evie.  He lets her lay on him, pull his fur, sit on his head, smash her face into his side, and any number of things I haven't really seen.  I'm sure she has pushed his meow button once or twice.  Willow tries to stay out of her way and off the floor so Evelynn doesn't get to close to her.  Every now and then she will allow Evelynn to yank on her tail.  She loves all the baby toys.  She spends her time stealing foam letters to gnaw on and batting at lose balls from the ball popper.  The other day she brought Evie her "mousy" to play with, so I think she is coming around.
When Evie went mobile the cats were definitely freaked out, but now they have accepted her in their space and know they aren't getting rid of her anytime soon.
We put all of their food and cat pans in protected spaces, so a lot of times you can find them hanging out there. 
By and by, we will make it work.  We are all family, right?

Love (fur babies and real babies),
Carrie

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?

I'm not one who enjoys getting rid of my stuff. I take pride in my pack rat status, which- I resolutely believe I inherited from my Grandmother.
I find comfort in my closets bursting with junk. I love finding old photographs or shirts and smiling at the memories the incur.
Just today I thought to myself, I wonder where I would get sheet music for kids for Evelynn to play on her new piano? Then I remembered, my mom still has all of our piano books from the days we took lessons as kids. Little things like that spur me to hang onto things even tighter.
All of my magazines now are proclaiming that I should dump things out with spring cleaning. But I don't think they have ever felt the swell of the heart when you pull out a sparkly mini dress you haven't worn since your hoochie days in college and your kids eyes light up at the awesome dress up clothes you pulled out of the closet.
Maybe its because I'm an Army Brat. My whole life I tend to cling to things a little to tightly because inevitably I would move and lose half of it. When I got to college and found myself in a place where I knew I wasn't going to have to lose people, I had trouble letting go. Even when I knew they were bad for me. The simple act of telling someone to get out of my life was unfathomable to me at the time.
So now I sit in a house, full to bursting with, for lack of a more refined word, crap. I've tried to contain it with baskets and totes and even space bags. I've weeded thru some of it, given tiny bits away to the Vets or sold items on craigslist for money. I'll probably never part with my Grandpa's rocking chair, which was part of a family set that I recently sold on craiglist. Seth was mad because it was our first "furniture" when we moved out to South Dakota together. Before that it was the fancy set we bought to match the giant TV we got when we moved back to the states my senior year. But that rocking chair is special. After my rhinoplasty, its where I sat in misery as my family members paraded by occasionally stopping to check in on me and bring me food and gifts. It was like my throne. My sad sad little throne. After that we split up the set and gave the chair to my Grandpa. When he went into the hospital my Dad brought it back to me because I offered to use my fancy new steam cleaner to get it nice again. Grandpa never took it back. He died later that month. For a long time it sat in my basement. Partly because that was where the rest of the set was and partly because I wasn't ready to deal with it. Recently, like a bug in my ear, I decided I was ready to have it back in my life. Especially after selling the rest of the set. I had Seth and my Dad bring it upstairs and I recovered it with the fancy microfiber cover I bought to match the nursery. Just in time for Evelynn's first serious fever amd subsequent cold. I have spent the last couple weeks rocking my baby to sleep in that chair and rocking myself as well. Sometimes when I'm sitting in it at three in the morning reading a book and rocking with the snot queen, I sink a little further into the chair and swear I'm getting a hug from my grandpa, who most days, I still have trouble accepting is gone.
So why would I get rid of that? So my kid could have a couple more inches of space to put a basket that will be inevitability filled with junk? Trust me, my kid has the ability to string entire rooms across the house. Just this morning I found my pastry comb inside a bookshelf. I guess the books were looking to cut shortening into flour and asked Evie to get it.
And I don't know how many people I have helped with fancy dresses to wear to parties or end tables for a living room or a foot spa bath for a poor pregnant lady.
One thing I am trying to improve at is better organizing my clutter. But I think that might require a professional. Any volunteers? No? Ah well, I guess I'll see you all on Hoarders!

Love (my junk),
Carrie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Now comes the night

Recently I've been staying up very late. Luckily, the baby loves to snuggle and sleep in until eleven or twelve. I always tell myself to go to sleep and maybe I could get up and exercise or have my "me" time then but there is always something that has drew me to the night.
I like to be the one who watches over my family as they sleep and see the beauty and relief in their faces as they leave the day behind and dream about how to start the next one anew. I love to curl up next to them with my book or kindle and my tiny light. I like to take moments to kiss their faces, stroke a cheek, or pull up the covers over their shoulders. Or in Seth's case pull the covers back from his recent barrel roll which took all but the flat sheet to his side of the bed because for some reason, he can't gasp the concept of using the flat sheet for anything more than a leg winder or something to pull out of the bottom of the bed so it drives me crazy!
Isn't it funny when you reach that point of sleeping with a person that you know their sleeping style, like their REAL sleeping style? The one that only their Mom had seen or the siblings they shared a room with? I remember when Seth used to get dressed in the bathroom before bed and used to sleep so lightly it hardly counted as sleeping at all. Now he's out cold. I could lay a screaming baby on him and he wouldn't flinch.
Watching the baby's sleeping style change over the year has been interesting too, if not completely devastating and heartbreaking being her Mom. She has slowly slid off my chest and claimed a spot on my pillow. She likes to lean back far enough to feel her Daddy's breath on her neck but likes to wriggle her little toes under my stomach. Eventually both of their breathing finds a rhythm and I know they are out for the count.
In this space I love to read. Sleep escapes me. In this quiet, dotted with the inhale and exhale of the two people next to me and the occasion cat surveying its nocturnal landscape and finding their master readily available for a late night pet, and without the child (who they show such brave patience to) to get excited about their appearance and rip out handfuls of fur in their glee of petting. I get lost in my pages of heroes and heroines, of the past and they mystery. Its almost like sitting in a movie theater and not wanting the lights to ever come on, and the story is so engaging and you get wrapped up in it so deeply you actually worry about it ending. You start to read slower because you don't want to know what life is like without the characters you share the pages with.
Sometimes I get thoughts like this I long to write out but know if I pop open my netbook I'll find a dozen other things to do than write. So I let the thought flit away with promises to compose it in the morning, only to find I can no longer remember the inspiration behind the stream of conciseness. Plus I would be neglecting my friends in the books.
The weather is turning and Evelynn is venturing outdoors with such vim and vigor I haven't the heart to hold her back or slap gloves on her or stop her from licking the occasional pinecone. I can't wait to see what opening the windows and letting the night in does to my very late readings.
Love (gripping darkness and books),
Carrie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Well hello there, its been awhile.  Let's pretend I've just been at it all along and save the apologies.  I feel like that's most of my posting is coming on and apologizing.  Ha.

So sick babies are no fun.  And being the stay at home mom is no fun when it happens.  First of all, you tend to get sick yourself.  So you aren't feeling so great, even if you don't get it, you are seriously sleep deprived and worn out from being up all night trying to figure out how to help the little one feel better or at least be comforted enough to sleep.  And there is something sucky about being the stay at home parent, you feel like its your duty and obligation to stay up with the baby and not disturb your working spouse.
I know everyone tells you to take care of yourself so you can take care of the baby, but I can't make Seth take off work, and I don't want to have him get sick too. 
I feel this intense pressure to upkeep the house and chores too, especially when she is sick.  I want to point out that Seth does not put this pressure on me, it is all self inflicted. 
But it sucks, and I just want to say so. 
On top of all of this, I decided to wean Evie before her first birthday.  So we have been working on that this week and it totally sucks.  I'm in so much pain.  The plus though is that Evie seems to be taking it very well and it doesn't seem to upset her too much.  We have also started making her take naps in her toddler bed.  She is pissed when she wakes up, but she really doesn't mind when it happens.
Other than that, which trust you me is a lot, we aren't up to much here!  Just wanted to say I miss you all!  Hope things are moving along in your world happily!
Love (checking in),
Carrie

Pictures of my stockpile

For you all, I finally got my Dad over here (thanks Pop!) to put together my new shelf and then played with the baby while I put it together.  I paid him in spicy mustard and Worcestershire Sauce.  So here for you is my stockpile!  Beginners unite!!

My stockpile shelf (and a stowaway-what a ham.)

The canned goods shelf

The cleaning shelf, everything on this shelf was .88 cents

Miscellaneous shelf for now

My freezer, not organized at all

My bathroom stockpile, I got that razor for a buck!

How is everyone's couponing going?  Need any help?  Want to send me pictures of your stockpile or brag about your shopping trip and savings?   Have secrets to share about deals in Omaha?  I'll be happy to post them for you!  Just shoot me an email at carriehellbusch(@)gmail (dot) com

Love (my new stockpile!),
Carrie

Extreme Couponing in Omaha...my new hobby, or "job"

Hello Blog Readers and Friends from Facebook who trekked over here to figure out what the heck I have been talking about my last couple status updates!

I have a confession.  I have turned into an extreme couponer.  I first learned about it from a TLC show called Extreme Couponing (which I hear is being turned into a series now).  One of the women on there (the one who went dumpster diving for coupons) has her own website.  I started reading it and got hooked.  I couldn't believe how much money people saved.  One lady on there hadn't bought toothpaste in 34 years!  

I'm not going to lie, its a lot of work and a bit time consuming, but once you get your stockpile built up, you will see the rewards.  I've only been doing it three weeks and have spent about 8 or 9 hours a week doing it and my stockpile (which Seth said I couldn't have, but yesterday bought me a fancy shelf to put in the garage and told me that's all he's buying for it, so I've petitioned my Dad to get me some more shelves) is already pretty big!  

This week I spent $204.85 at four stores.  I saved, using a combination of coupons and sales $151.45 this week. All NAME BRAND ITEMS.  Which makes me feel pretty fancy.

So here is how my process works.  It's my own brand of crazy, so feel free to use it, change it, adapt it for you, and if you need a shopping buddy-let me know! 

Okay so I learned how to do it from a website called www.krazycouponlady.com, she has a beginners section there that I used to get started.  I recommend going there and reading that tab and getting the lingo down and the learning how to start your binder.  (see pictures of my binder and the inside of my binder below)

First on Sunday my parents save the coupons for me from the Sunday paper and I clip all of them.  That's important, to clip them all because you never know what you are going to need to use.  Then I organize them into the binder that the krazycouponlady website showed me how to set up.  On Wednesday (when grocery store sale ads change) the Omaha World Herald sends out another thing in the mail that has all the ads and more coupons (the same ones on Sunday).  I clip those and organize those, so by now, I have three sets of the same coupons.  This is important.  To build up a stockpile you need lots of the same coupon so that when you get a great deal on an item, you can buy multiples of those items.  You can also print coupons (usually the same ones, I find this is the most comprehensive list of printable coupons availabe: http://thekrazycouponlady.com/print-coupons/

Throughout the week I follow the krazycouponlady website and other local websites that track more local sales (the krazycouponlady isn't in Omaha but she does major stores like Target and Walmart) the two I use are: http://qponsavingmommas.blogspot.com/ http://www.momsavesmoney.net/ They find deals more locally.  Here's the best thing about using the blogs, they do all the math for you and tell you which coupons to use to get the best deal on the local sales.

Other sites I look at are:

http://wantnot.net/ http://dealseekingmom.com/ http://www.momsneedtoknow.com/

On Thursday I sit down at the computer and go thru the websites and make a list of what I want to get.  I write down the full name of the product, what the original cost should be (because sometimes our local stores don't always match up) and then what coupons to use (most stores allow one manufactures coupon per item, but Target allows one Target coupon (which you can print from their website here: Target Printable Coupons Link ) and one manufactures coupon.  Bakers allows one Bakers coupon (which you can load onto your Bakers card or print or you get them in the mail. Load Bakers Coupons to your card here you have to have a Bakers Card and set up an account.) and one manufactures coupon.) and how much the final price of each item should be.  There is a lot of complicated deal wrangling that I never understand but the websites work out and the deals work out for me.  For example this week at Target I got 6 Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers for .84 cents.  They were originally  2 bucks a piece.  But the store had buy 6 get one free sales and I had two coupons that were buy 3 get one free and buy 5 and get one free.  Since I was buying six, I could use both coupons (remember most coupons are one coupon PER ITEM, and I was buying six items so I could theoretically use up to six coupons) So in the end I got three of them free and it worked out that they were .84 cents a piece for the ones I paid for.  I'm not sure how the math works on that but it worked in the store. So while I'm writing everything down, I'm pulling the coupons out and I have one of those coupon organizers that I have labeled Walmart, Target, Bakers, Hyvee, Use 1, Use 2, and Refile. I put the coupons in their respected sleeves.  (The Use 1 and Use 2 and Refile I'll explain in a minute) I also save the local ads myself and check things out since no one really does Bakers around here.  I also print any extra coupons I need, or the Target coupons I need, cut them and put them with what I need.

So after I have my lists and my coupons all ready to go, I get my reusable bags ( Hyvee and Walmart and sometimes Target still gives you 5 cents off for them, Bakers recently discontinued the practice), make sure I have the space in my car.  Load up the kid (you need her for entertainment and also for some reason people are so much nicer to you when you have a kid) and drive to my stores and start shopping.  I usually do them in this order- Target, Walmart, Hyvee, Bakers.  Usually because the grocery stores have more frozen items.  I realize in the summer I might have to start packing a cooler to take.  Anyway I park near a cart return (this is key with a kid and when you have just bought 99 soup cans) and its snowing.

When I'm in the store, when I find the item and confirm that I'm getting the item, I pull the coupon out of the accordion file from the store I have it filed in and put it into the "Use" part of my file.  This way I can double check the expiration date of the coupon, the discount on the coupon, and the number I need to get.  Sometimes, especially at Target you have to do more than one transaction. Most of the Target coupons you are only allowed one per transaction, which sucks, but is easy enough to handle.  The cashiers are really nice about it if you separate your orders on the line, have your coupons ready, and let them know you are doing more than one transaction up front.  That's why I have a "Use 1 and Use 2" slot in my file.  Sometimes I get to the store and I see that our prices aren't what my blogs have indicated and the discount isn't that good, so I put it in the "refile" part of my file, shake my fist at my local store, and move on. 

When I get home, I usually put the items that can hang out in the garage (cans, cleaners, soda, and such) on their fancy new shelf and I put the stuff that goes in the deep freeze (thank GOD I have that) and I haul the rest upstairs.  Hopefully Evie is sleeping in her car seat when this is going on, but sometimes she is standing at the top of the stairs screaming.  It happens.

On Monday or Tuesday I refile and reorganize.  And Wednesday start the process again.  

Its addicting, and fun.  And yesterday at Bakers, people in the aisle behind me, on the sides of me, the cashiers and the baggers all cheered for me when they saw how my original bill for 175 dollars went down to 80.  

A lot of times the blogs I read show coupons for fun things like 40% off Gap or a free candle at Bath and Body Works, or how to get a 25 dollar gift certificate to a restaurant for two bucks.  I try to pass that stuff on, on my facebook feed.  Also if I'm in a store and I have a coupon expiring soon that I know I'm not going to use, I try to set it on the item in the store so someone else can use it.  Or if I see that someone who said something nice to Evie has something in their cart I have a coupon for I'm not using, I give them one.  Pay it forward I guess. 

Also I always take my binder in in case there is an unadvertised deal.  Like this week Target had these Tyson grill strips that are perfect for Seth to take to class for dinner because he can take a easy mac and these strips and microwave them and have a nice dinner for 2 bucks and I had 1.50 off so I got them for .50 cents.  But I had to go to the binder to get that coupon because I didn't know our local Target had them that cheap.

So that's how I do it!  I posted pictures below and hot linked everything.  I'd be more than happy to post my Bakers list since no one around here does it if there is enough interest in it!  Just let me know on the comments or on facebook!  Also if you have ANY questions, or want to sit down and do it with me, or want to shop with me or want me to help you get your binder started, let me know!!  I would be glad to help!

Love (saving money),

Carrie

 

 

My list

My binder

One of my receipts, look at all those coupons!

Inside of my binder, I use sheet protectors, some people use business card holders

My file that I use on shopping day

Life these days...

This morning, at 6 am, Evelynn woke up and wanted to play and have breakfast.  As Seth got ready for work and I made Evie's oatmeal, Seth came in and asked me "How different is your day from 2 years ago?"  I laughed and said-"Very different" but it got me thinking.
Two years ago, the alarm would go off at 6 and I would roll out of bed immediately (I've never been one to hit the snooze alarm, I set my alarm to the last possible minute so I could get the most deep sleep instead of five minutes of light sleep) I would go into the bathroom, wash my face, brush my teeth, put on make up and do my hair.  I would go to the closet if I hadn't already laid out my clothes for the work day.  I'd go and make Seth and I's breakfast and lunch.  Go back into the bedroom and give him a death stare for getting to stay all warm and snuggly in bed, kiss him goodbye and ask him when he wanted his wake up call.  Then I would get on the road to work and start my long drive to my job-45 minutes, on a good day, each way.  On the way I would listen to my XM when I had it, or the local station's morning show.  I would eat my breakfast in the car.  At some point along the way, I would call Seth about 100 times to wake him up. 
I would get to work, go to my desk, get settled, check in on everyone else, and start work.  During work I would blog, eat lunch, snack, putz around on the internet, talk to my co workers, call my husband, call my parents and of course work.  The work was pretty mind numbing so you needed to break it up with little rewards like that.  Then I would start my drive home, another 45 minutes.  Along the way I when I had cell service, I would call my friends and my Mom.  Or if no one was answering, listen to the radio or my latest cd. 
When I got home I would put my stuff away, clean the house and go thru the mail and depending on if I felt like it, watch the DVR, take a nap, work out (rarely), and generally get ready for the rest of the evening.  At some point (usually late) Seth would come home and we would eat or we would meet up with my parents or we would sit and watch DVR. 
I would usually take a long bath while Seth did the dinner dishes and shut down the house for the night.  He would usually do some onDemand ab workout or call his Mom or sometimes come into the bathroom to talk to me and ruin my reading time.  Then we would go to bed, watch tv or a DVD or Netflix and call it a night.
On the weekends we would pick a place to eat out.  Do a project around the house, visit friends, go shopping, work on our computers.  Compared to my days now, it seemed so easy come easy go and carefree.

These days, I don't have one day that is like the other.  Every day is an adventure.  Generally I get up when Evelynn gets up-usually long after Seth has sneaked out the door.  We eat some breakfast or lunch, depending on what time it is.  Then we play, we read or watch "educational" DVD's or television shows.  Sometimes Evelynn will play by herself, but most of the time not.  We have dance parties, we do the first round of house pick up.  I try to clean up the mess Seth left behind in the kitchen when making his coffee and running out the door.  I try to think of what to make for dinner.  Occasionally I can get on the computer and see what is going on, but most the the time the only way I see the internet is on my blackberry.  Three or four hours after she gets up, Evelynn usually takes a mini nap which can range from 5 minutes to 2 hours.  I try to watch my TV shows during that time or the news.  She is usually sleeping on me and won't let me put her down so I read my kindle or my latest paperback I acquired from www.paperbackswap.com or sometimes I'm wore out and just take a nap too.
Some days we meet up for play dates with our friends Jen and Alexis.  Some days we go over to my parents house and try to work off my huge debt to them for buying me new winter tires (thank GOD because I  needed them this winter.  My debt is scheduled to be paid off some time in April).  We make dinner either for just Seth, or my side of the family and Seth or just my side of the family.  We play some more.  At some point I try to check out coupons online for my new coupon junkie habit.  On Friday's we try to go out and get the best deals around town.  If the weather is nice enough.
In the spring I plan on going to the playground during the day and being outside more.  In the summer I plan on hiding from the bugs under a coat of bug spray and being outside more.
Life is just drastically different.  Nurse Carol says I am rearing Evelynn with what they call a "Baby-led" style.  I find it is easier to let Evie do what she wants, when she wants.  She seems to absorb more and learn more.  I mean I don't let her run around all naked (okay well sometimes, when she has a butt rash) and crazy like, but if she doesn't want to eat, she doesn't have to eat.  If she doesn't want to watch tv or do flash card or read books, she doesn't have to.  Some of our best moments are when she just wants to sit on my lap and tell me all about it and then give me a hug and leave to find a cat to terrorize.
It makes my life a little more hectic.  A little less normal, controlled, planned, predictable, and simple.   I don't get to blog as much, read as much, or watch as much tv.  Some days I don't get to eat.  I NEVER get to workout and I'm a little thicker than I used to be.  I don't see my good friends as much.  I only get to eat out when I have gift cards or a coupon.  I can't remember the last time my facebook status or profile didn't involve my kid.  Some days I never get out of my pajamas.  I only wash my hair and shave my legs once a week.  I can't remember the last time I wore make up.  I have a never ending list of things I need to get done, clean, or pick up.  My carpet is the grossest thing I've ever seen and I could care less.  I'll never get to move out of this house because I don't even have a bedroom door and haven't had one since before Evie was born.  I gave away all my work clothes and my dress clothes save for a few dresses and slacks and suits that mean something to me (but I can't fit in probably).  I long to take my honeymoon but know I can't possibly be away from Evie that long.  I haven't seen a movie in the theaters since I can remember.  I don't dye my hair unless someone watches my kid and it comes from a box.  Sometimes I have to take a bath with Evelynn just to get a bath.  Life is very different to say the least.
But GOD if it isn't the greatest life I never knew I would love.  And I want more of it.

Love (every day),
Carrie

Hey look, I'm alive!

Hello world! I'm still here. Promise. I just rarely get near a computer anymore. The closest I get is on my phone. Evelynn thinks every time I go near the computer its to have her Skype with a family member. She loves to Skype. I wonder what life will be like with her growing up with all this technology. Like how old will she be when we get her a cell phone? Or her own computer? Will it be a tablet or a laptop? How long before she outsmarts the parental controls Seth sets up?
I really want to move. I'm sick of my tiny house. I'm ready for something new. Of course we have no money to move for a down payment and the money we would need to fix up our house to sell it. Seth doesn't have the time to do the work either. The whole stress of moving and trying to sell a house is really something we don't need. But if I stub my toe on one more toy or get one more bruise on my thighs I might move to my parents house.
Maybe I just need a new project or something.
Or maybe I'm addicted to moving.
More later...when the princess is sleeping.

Love (new spaces),
Carrie
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry