Saturday, January 28, 2012

"A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows."

The other night we went to a comedy show and the comedian asked who was on their first date and the some people stupidly volunteered that they were and even more information that they met on match.com.
I hear of people doing this more and more.  I want to make jokes about it, but I think secretly I'm jealous.  My husband I met because he told his coworker, who was my best friend's husband, that he was giving up abstinence for Lent.  So my best friend's husband told him he knew a nymphomaniac.  There were no qualifiers or warnings about each other's faults.  Sometimes I think it would have been nice to receive that email before I married my husband, it would say things like:  Seth is chronically late.  He also has a tendency to pick out large facial hairs and throw them in your sink, but not wash them down.  If you give Seth is own bathroom, he will never tell you it needs to be cleaned and therefore, makes cleaning it a hazardous task.  But worst of all, when you tell Seth you need a nap and its his turn to watch your monster child, this is what you will wake up too:

I don't think that counts buster.

In all fairness, I'm totally sure my warning email would have said things like:  loves to watch hours of tv and if not watching tv will spend hours reading books.  Will constantly whine when her technology doesn't work.  At least once a week, will call you crying begging you to come home and bring dinner because she couldn't possibly imagine putting a meal together when she can't even keep the kid from eating crayons.  Even though she spends an hour putting together meal planning lists.  Even though she is an avid coupon and deal seeker, she will go over budget at least twice a month, but will make it a big deal when she is actually under budget.  Even if she is under only a dollar.  She will also give birth to the most beautiful exasperating child on the planet earth.

Love (that my husband and I didn't meet on match.com),
Carrie

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please leave your thoughts and comments below-I'd love to read them! But if you're dirty spammy comments, I'm going to delete you.