The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Welcome Wednesday. I’m not glad to see you. I would have been much more happy to receive you yesterday-when I thought it was Wednesday. Again. I must have something against Tuesday’s because I’m always skipping them.

House Hunters International
So House Hunters International is doing this thing where they go to the top 5 destinations voted on by viewers and watch people find houses there. I generally enjoy HHI because I can’t get mad at the people for buying stupid things, because most of those destination spots have AMAZING houses for tons of cash. And you really mostly just hate the person for having that much money. The number 5 spot, which we watched last night was the Bahamas. In 20 minutes I was convinced I NEVER needed to live in the Bahamas-ever. These people were spending a million dollars, and that basically got them the shit shack by the river. None of the three houses were anything short of terrible. One of them had a refrigerator entirely covered in mold. Another had a toilet that you had to walk over to get to the shower. The last one had two bedrooms and one bathroom and the floor was a concrete slab with some tiles smooshed into the concrete. REALLY? A million dollars? So yeah-I’m never moving to the Bahamas. I’ll save my MILLION DOLLARS for a beach resort in Mexico or something. At least there the house comes furnished. On top of that-all of the houses on this island are considered historic and over 200 years old so if you wanted to refurbish them or build a bathroom that doesn’t involve doing a power squat to get into the shower, you would have to go thru the historical society to get it approved. But don’t worry, they picked the house near the ocean, where their SIX KIDS would have to share two rooms and there is ample parking for their golf carts. Because that is the only mode of transportation in the Bahamas is golf carts, or at least on this island of craptaucluar million dollar houses. I’m excited to see what tonite’s destination is and how it will be ruined for me. I think its Cyprus.

Mmmm Mmmm somethings coming over me-my baby’s got a secret
So listen, I’m going to tell you a big secret of mine. I want to go to Comic-Con in San Diego. Every year I read the blogs and watch the videos and wish I was there. All my favorite people from my favorite shows are there. Like Joss Whedon and Nathan Fillion, and Heroes and stuff. And they premiere stuff from movies I LOVE like Transformers and Harry Potter and they announce upcoming movie awesomeness. And it just seems like a lot of fun. I’m sure tickets are outrageous and sold out years in advance, but it’s a secret dream of mine. I hope one day to have a son or daughter who is a huge comic book nerd and I can make their life by taking them to Comic Con when they are like 13. But really, so you all know, I will be fulfilling my secret wish. Judge yest ye be judged, jerks.

Mandate
Bromance is a big thing right now, there are movies about it, and it’s acceptable in society. I really think though that we need to address the Mandate. How do I set my husband up on a Mandate. See my husband is a brilliantly nerdy engineer. He loves math and numbers and computers. I work with a bunch of engineers who love the same thing. There are about 40 people here who I think he would get along famously with. So how do I do that without being creepy? Taking suggestions below.

Obsessed with Obsessed.
Seriously ya’ll have you SEEN THIS SHOW!?!? Holy mac and cheese! I’m in love. I have so much more insight into OCD now. I had no idea it is basically an anxiety disorder where people perform “rituals” to curb anxiety. The one I watched last night was two people. The first guy was kind of a nutcase, and there was really no helping him. He would workout 50 times a week because he was afraid of dying. Plus he was UBER smart, like he was a mathematician and physicist. I don’t think the psychologist was a smart enough for him. This guy couldn’t commit to the treatment because he couldn’t rationalize it, where as he had found rationality in his behaviors to combat his fear. The guy wasn’t on the same mental level as this guy. One thing I have learned from my husband’s analytical brain is that it doesn’t think the same way mine does. If you explain something to him, or you want to win a point, you have to approach it from an analytical standpoint. Telling the nutjob that he needed to stop working out so he could “reach his goal and spend more time with his family” didn’t combat his fear of dying.
The second lady I was amazed by. This lady was afraid of poop. So afraid that bowel movements basically made her have a mental breakdown and she would spend 3 hours in the shower after she pooped doing enimas and scrubbing herself on the INSIDE with a toothbrush until she bled. OH. MY.GOD. She had to have two blood transfusions because she had lost so much blood from her vigorous butt brushing. It was HORRIFIC. But the cognitive behaviorist got her better in the end and saved her marriage. But still, can you IMAGINE!?!?
Please watch this show so I have someone to talk about it with. I can’t talk about this stuff at work, no one watches this show and people think I’m weird when I talk about cleaning poop out of your butt with a toothbrush and how many gym memberships the nutjob has.

Alright all, I’m going to get thru some of this work so I can think about taking Friday off. I said THINK.

Love (cloudy days),
Carrie