This may come as a SHOCK to you all-but Seth actually got up with me this morning! I know. I was stunned. But as I was walking out the door (late-I swear I looked at the clock and it said I had 15 minutes and then apparently I fell into a time warp and it was 20 minutes later and I have no knowledge of what I did in that fifteen minutes) he goes-“You look like a Mom today” and I was like, great thanks, that’s for pointing that out now as I am walking out the door LATE and there is nothing I can do about it except blog and whine. And feel uncomfortable all day.
Not that looking like a mom is a bad thing, it just wasn’t what I was going for. I think it was because I was wearing flannel pajama pants to bed last night-in my defense, it was COLD. But anyway, that just made me laugh. Thanks HONEY.
I think I need to like plan my clothes out for the week because if I don’t and I have to rush it in the morning, I end up smelling like cat butt or looking like someone’s Mom.
Speaking of work-yesterday I spent a good hour trying to retrieve my staple puller from the black abyss behind my desk that tried to eat it. Now I know what you are thinking, really Carrie, an hour on a staple puller? But it is a FANCY staple puller, it is ergonomically correct with hand grooves and little thumb pads, and it even has a magnet! It was special order! It's a Bostitch! In a flamboyant move, I tried to bounce it into my pen cup and ended up bouncing it directly over the pen cup and into the darkness behind my desk. Here at NPP we have these AWFUL desks that have a piece of metal that separates the desk from the cubical wall.
*Digress to demonstrate the stupidness of the piece of metal* Once a couple of years ago when I first started here it started to smell REALLY bad at my desk. Like really bad, I was the SMELLY girl. After about 100 different forms of air fresheners, the girl who shared a wall with me got fed up and threatened her boss if I didn't stop smelling she would quit. Of course, I had to prove outside the cube I was NOT the smelly girl, so it was deemed the smell was coming from the cube itself. They made me clean out all my drawers and move all of my stuff out. When it was apparent I wasn't the girl who leaves rotting things in her desk, they finally called facilities management to tear the cubes apart, and there, in between my cube and said piece of metal, was a dead snake who had eaten a mouse who was poisoned and got too fat to get out from between the metal and cube. And he was rotting, under my feet, and before that probably SLITHERING there, so needless to say, I threw a fit of LEGENDARY proportions. *digression over*
So if you lose anything back there, unless you have super long lean arms, or brute strength you aren't' seeing it again. Someone must have really wanted something back at my desk at one time, because they bent and broke the metal plate to get behind the desk. So I pried and laid on my back and laid over my desk like a beached whale trying to get my staple puller back. When I finally got it, I emerged triumphant and dusty and probably had my hands covered in petrified cricket gross. And then I was late for a meeting. I went to the meeting holding my retrieved staple puller high for all to see-proud of my victory over the back of the desk and when it came to my turn to talk about what I had done so far this week at work and what I had planned I said "Well I just fought the back of my desk VALIANTLY for the return of my super fancy staple puller (as you call can see here), so that was pretty much my focus for the last hour, I'm not sure where to go from here..." and my boss looked at me and dead paned-"maybe to a feast in honor of your victory or do you just want to do the award ceremony now?" And we all laughed hysterically, best boss ever.
Here’s an issue I’m greatly passionate about. People who hock crap at work. We are in an economic crisis people. Don’t come into my cube and corner me and then make me feel bad for not buying your crap, your kids crap, or your charity crap. I don’t want to buy a raffle ticket, buy any form of make up from you (I announce LOUDLY at every job that my mom is a Mary Kay lady and my grandma is a Avon lady-I’m COVERED thanks.), buy cookies, popcorn, magazines or wrapping paper from your kids (isn’t the point that THEY are supposed to be selling it, in my day my mom REFUSED to do anything but drive me up to people’s front doors, she never took my cookie forms into work-the lesson was I was supposed to sell it, not her), or anything of that nature. And I am vehemently against people hocking charities at work. I get that you want to do a good thing, but I think a person’s charity choices should be personal and their own. I don’t need to justify to you why I don’t want to support your charity, because maybe I have charities of my own, and I certainly don’t need your guilt trip, thanks. And we work 45 minutes away from Omaha, at the end of the day, I want to go home and take off my pants. I do NOT want to go to your home and buy your baskets, candles, plastic containers or kitchen tools. That’s what they make the Internet for. You got a website? Great, shoot it too me, if I want your stuff I’ll order it there. Seriously people, we are in an ECONOMIC crisis, I gave up going out to eat for a MONTH so that I could get a luxury item (TV) that does not mean I have 46 dollars for some eye cream or cookie dough. Thanks though. BACK OFF. I need a sign for my cube, because if one more person comes in here and asks me to be on their relay for life team or buy their kids fundraisers I’m going to take someone out at the knees really. Have I EVER bought anything from you? Dude I won’t even go in on “secret buddies” but that is because I’ve seen the crap you get in your cube for secret buddies and I really have my fill of random dollar store crap, thanks. I don’t need any bird statues or plants, I’m good. I’m quickly becoming the social outcast of the people who sell junk here. Haha. *Carrie backs away from the soapbox slowly*
So exciting news-Bob, family friend, is going to teach me how to make homemade ricotta and use the pasta maker I got for my wedding! I’m so excited. I hope we make ravioli’s and calzones. And then I will eat until I explode. So get ready, if you come to my house, I will have been classically trained by a real New York Italian chef for your meal. Don’t be jealous, I’ll spread the love!
How is it only 10:25? REALLY?
This day is going to take forever!
Hope you all are having a great day and a special shout out to my dad who had a minor procedure done but is doing great! I hope your feeling better Pop! And thanks to everyone for their happy thoughts in his general direction.
Love (among other things),
Carrie
PS if you can name that tune and band, you win a prize. :-) Its my new thing...
Forever Young, Alphaville??
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