If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

Good Morning.
Even though it’s Wednesday it feels like Monday and I’m about to fall asleep at my desk. I have no idea why I’m so tired, especially since the section of the baby book (Best book ever-Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy) says that I’m supposed to have more energy. It seems like the only thing that gets me thru the work day anymore is a promise of a nap when I get home and sleeping in on the weekends.

TV
Last night I watched “Manson” on the History Channel because Seth came home late and I was waiting for him. 2 hours later I know much more about Charlie Mason and the Tate Murders then I ever wanted too. I’m now calling home security companies too because they showed a picture of Sharon Tate, 8 months pregnant stabbed and I’m pretty sure I’m permanently scarred from that.
We also watched Design Star with dinner and that was interesting. I really did like Antonio’s design, even if he did get the boring assignment. An office? I like that he custom made the desks. And the choice of colors. Purple and Grey. It was very calming. I think they would make great wedding colors, but I don’t know anyone getting married…
I wasn’t super sorry to see Lorri (is that her name?) go, but Dan is starting to get a little insufferable.
FYI everyone! SYTYCD and Glee are brand new tonite!

Random pregnancy confession
Remember how I rubbed it in all your faces that my sweet loving husband spent hours chopping up veggies for me to dip in the ever delicious homemade hidden valley ranch dip I made? Yesterday, while watching the History Channel, I consumed half a bag of potato chips with my ranch dip. Not the veggies my husband spent hours slaving over to ensure our baby would have all the nutrients it needs for growing. Nope, half a bag of wavy lays. And it was DELICIOUS, if not for the guilt factor, I might do it again today.

First trimester blog continued
Just a warning for you all, there are some hard times coming up in the baby blog, and I don’t want to post all 50 pages of the blog at once, so I’m doing a little at a time, but it’s hard sometimes to read back and see how naïve I was in this moment:
5 weeks 6 days
I cycle between nervous and happy. Excited and anxious. The spotting came back yesterday which set me back a little bit. I thought it was getting better. It's all but stopped now, but you can imagine how that sets off my crazy head! I try to refrain from googling things but sometimes I break down and get the bejesus scared out of me. I just try to keep my faith strong and trust my body. My doctor says my levels are great and I'm not in any pain and no cramping so it's nothing to be concerned about-but still-I'm BLEEDING AND SPOTTING! I'm so blessed though because most women do not even get to see a doctor until week 8 (on Saturday I will be at 6 weeks!) and if the bleeding had happened and I didn't have the reassuring blood tests and doctors, I would have thought I had lost it last week. But luckily, because God directed us to this fertility clinic, I get to have doctors who will test my levels and let me call them on the weekends and reassure me. So maybe this was God's plan all along, the whole emotional roller coaster of infertility and that whole mess...maybe it was because he knew I would need to be in a place that would constantly make me feel better and reassure me-a normal clinic would not do that. I am so lucky that I have such a great group of people around me too who constantly reassure me and help me be more excited than worried. It really helps curb the nerves!
Some pregnancy effects I've had are loss of appetite which is the worse one because I know I need to eat so I force myself and feel sick afterwards. I haven't vomited yet so that's good. It's just the complete lack of desire to eat, like you know when you are at like camp and it's SO HOT you can't even think about eating and then you do and you just feel tired and your stomach hurts like you just ate rocks? That's how it feels every time I eat. I am also exhausted all the time, but I kind of love that because I have been having the BEST NAPS and SLEEP of my life. My lady humps also still look swollen and veiny. Gross.
But on Monday, we get to see the baby! For the first time! I’m so excited, it can’t get here fast enough!!

Weekend plans
In my fantasy world, sleep. In reality? My Dad might come over and do our front entryway tile and Chet (helpful brother in law) is coming over early Saturday morning to help breakdown the “guest” part of our spare bedroom and move things around so I can stop having panic attacks about how we are going to fit a baby and all its stuff into our house. This may be due to the fact I went into Babies R Us a couple of weeks ago with Seth and cried because there is just SO MUCH STUFF and I have no place to put it at all. Like zero space. Then last weekend we saw Target is having a “Baby Sale” and the high chair thingy I want is on super sale for half off and we couldn’t buy it because we have NO PLACE TO PUT IT. A meltdown of epic proportions ensued. When I finally exhausted myself into a nap, Seth started working on a plan to get stuff out of our storage room in the basement and bought some totes for the stuff he planned on putting in the tool shed and arranged for his brother to come help with the moving. We may actually get to use our 400 dollar steam cleaner we bought with our wedding money and have never used. And by we, I mean Seth because that sucker is HEAVY.
Or I’ll just sleep. I live by the wind. *snickers*

Oh all right, I’ll go, I’ll go.
Since I just got the go ahead to buy our tickets for New York City in October (Seth keeps insisting that we are going to see a REAL football game, as if our trip to Kansas City last year to see the Chiefs was a fake football game or something) so I’d better get on that.
2 more days this week everyone, hang in there! I know, it feels like a longer week than a normal, not short week!!!

Love (action plans that don’t involve me),
Carrie