A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward.

Whew, I didn’t think I would make it to Friday without strangling someone. But I did, I’m so proud of myself! And you all, those of you who stuck around and made it past my whining.

9/11
Last night during the football game they had a little tribute to the 9/11 tragedy. I cried like no one’s business. I think the Steelers coach was crying too, which is another reason I kind of love him. But seriously, that was 8 years ago!?!? Geez. It feels like yesterday. Moment of silence ya’ll.

FOOLSball
Jesse ended up coming over last night and it was really fun. He kept calling Hines Ward “Steak Sauce” and Troy Polomalu “Palmolive”. Seth and I had a lot of fun before he showed up too, we made the chicken strips and went for a walk (me)/run (Seth) and had some good laughs about the Titans starting lineup (they all look like Mountain Men!) Jesse brought over my dead Grandma’s old Lazy Boy chair (I was admiring it when we were cleaning his trailer (FOR SALE HERE-http://omaha.craigslist.org/reo/1366863156.html !!) for the baby’s room, and that made me all squishy with happy inside. He stayed until the end of the game. I ended up crapping out at the overtime mark and going upstairs to get ready for bed. It was a good game though.

Weekend Ahead
So tonite my Dad is coming over to lay the durarock for the tile floor (YAYAYAYAYAYYA!!!!) and Chet is coming over at 10, after work, to stay the night. He’s going to wake up early and help Seth disassemble and move the guest bedroom downstairs before the tile is laid and move the new chair up the stairs. Then Dad will be over sometime to lay the tile and teach Seth how to do that. I will be steam cleaning the carpet in the “baby” portion of the guest bedroom and steam cleaning the chair Jesse gave the baby. I don’t know how long that will all take, but the only other thing I have to get done this weekend is to go to Alltel and get my new damn phone (jerks). Oh and sleep…a lot.

Random bathroom story
So yesterday, on my standard, pee before you get in the car and make a 45 minute drive, bathroom break before I left work-I went into the bathroom and for the first time in my short history in this building there was actually someone in one of the stalls (I go to a small out of the way bathroom and have never seen anyone in there which is why I like it). I started to suck it up and go into the stall next to it and there was a big huge mothertrucking spider right on the toilet seat. I panicked and ran out of the bathroom. I HATE spiders. That woman must have thought I was a nervous pee-er. Which I'm totally not. I just really hate spiders.
I was once trapped in my bedroom for like 6 hours before Jason and Pam came home because there was a spider in on the ceiling above the doorway and I was sure that it was going to slide down and bite me and kill me if I tried to leave. That experience gave me a bladder infection. Anyway so this morning, I get to work to do my standard, pee after you have made a 45 minute drive, and I go into the bathroom and the big huge mothertrucking spider has somehow fallen into the toilet and died. I went into the other stall. I could have just flushed it, but I’m pretty sure that spider is faking it and just waiting for me to come in there so he can eat my face off. I just went again (yay pregnancy) and that sneaky sucker is still there. It’s going to be a long day…

Random pregnancy complaints
What in the FLIP is happening to my belly button? It’s freaking me out. I always used to have this cute little belly button, it was rare, and it went vertically instead of horizontally like most peoples. But now it’s turning into a GIANT BLACK HOLE. I swear you could park a Cadillac in my belly button. Comfortably. It’s huge and it’s disturbing me. Two nights ago Seth made me cry because he told me it’s going to pop out like a turkey timer and the thought of that makes me even more upset because I HATE those belly buttons, they scare me. I’m not comfortable with them. So when that time decides to come (which I’m denying it ever will) I will be taping my belly button back down.
Also my stomach is making REALLY loud noises today. Not the “you’re starving to death” noises like it usually does, but the you are trying really hard not to fart and freak out your cube mate noises. I’m trying really hard but I'm full of gas!
See yesterday when the air conditioning crapped out and it started to get hot, I got REALLY crabby and started telling everyone that I was going to take off my pants because I was dying of heat stroke. My cube partner just looked at me in holy terror. I tried to reassure him by telling him that I would stay in my chair with my legs under my desk, but he just looked even more scared. So I’m trying to be nice to him since clearly I traumatized him yesterday and he can’t look me in the eye anymore. But in my defense, I’ve always said, being hot makes me the most miserable person to be around.
*sidebar* I also have to be nice to him since yesterday I stuck my big giant foot in my mouth around him. There is this trial going on for a CSI guy who they say tampered with evidence. Yesterday my news thingy popped up and said he got off and so I said aloud “Oh that CSI guy was found not guilty”. Cube guy looked like he was going to cry with happiness and said “Oh good, that means they won’t have to retry Christmas Eagle.”
*even futher side bar* Because I made SUCH an ass of myself yesterday, I’m trying to protect the details of this story by changing the name of the criminals and the crime in which he is referring” *end further sidebar*
So I, in my INFINATE AWESOMENESS and extreme tact-less-ness go “You mean that kid that killed that pregnant girl by throwing ninja stars at her?” (Again, not the real crime) And he was like “Yeah, that was my niece and my daughter’s best friend, we all had to testify at the trial and we just started to accept that she is gone”. Well…fuck…
So you see, I have to be extra not traumatizing to him today *end sidebar*

Baby Blog
Here is my attempt at being humorous and optimistic while facing possibly one of the greatest traumas of my life:
July 22, 2009
On my way into work today, in my shiny brand new car, I vomited, while driving, into my soup bowl.
I had just recently finished gobbling up a 100 calorie mini bagel with cream cheese. I took my vitamins (I learned pre pregnancy that I have to take the vitamins directly after eating or they hurt my stomach) and took off to work. Driving along I got to the part where traffic got SUPER BAD, not slow, just busy. My stomach started in with the throw up pain. Now usually I'm able to fight this down no problem and it passes. But all of the sudden, I knew this wasn't going to just pass. I started searching frantically around my shiny brand new Honda CRV that was only 3 days old to me for ANYTHING to puke in. I couldn't pull over, I couldn't even merge out of the middle lane. I drank water continuously to help the vomit come up easier because I knew the second I took my lips off that bottle I was going to spew. Dang you Seth for cleaning out my car! In the VUE I had multiple plastic sacks of garbage hanging around. They would have been perfect! Out of the corner of my eye I see my work bag has flung open in my speedy corner turning. In it is my bright green plastic bowl that I bring to work to eat my soup in. I weigh the option of if it will be big enough, and then I decide I have no other choice. Luckily earlier in the week when it was raining I decided I needed a hand towel in the front seat to wipe off the rain, so I had that as back up.
And then I puked, in traffic, in a bright green bowl. Luckily it wasn't too much since all I had to eat was the world's smallest bagel and some vitamins. I wiped up my face and put the bowl on the floor by my feet and held my breath until my exit where I could pull over and dump it out. Now I have nothing to eat my soup in at work. Nice.
I'm living every second in fear. I want your little heart to have started more than anything in the world. Seth and Kathy and Jeni are confident and strong. It's why I need them, I can't think about the worst. I'm trying to trust God and pray incessantly. I am so very, very scared.

Go forth!
Alright dear friends, I’m off to try to motor thru this day and get my weekend started. Hopefully I can catch a nap before my dad comes over. In my head I’m planning an escape plan and thinking of sneaking out a little early. For my sanity’s sake.
Have a great weekend everyone!

Love (when I’m not being a complete idiot to strangers),
Carrie