Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Hey world, I’m back. I had some random day thoughts to share with you.

Garth Brooks is coming out of retirement. Huh. Part of me wants to be excited, but the other part of me is still confused and dazed from that whole Chris Gaines thing. I’ll admit it, I went thru a big country music phase a couple years ago. One time on a car trip from Sioux Falls to Columbus I made Seth listen to the hours of mix CD’s of country music I had made years ago. It’s his fault though, he decided working was more important that chauffeuring me thru two states.

Speaking of those drives, which we made a lot for house shopping, wedding planning, and general missing of “home”-my main role in the driving was music master and when that grew tiresome, sitting up straight in my chair behind the biggest pair of sunglasses I could find and not letting on to Seth that I was sleeping while he talked about math. I also did a lot of crocheting. And posing in the passenger side mirror pretending the people driving by wondered who that smoking hot babe was who looked asleep but not really.

I totally forgot to tell you about this conversation at the doctor’s office yesterday, which was had during that part of the office visit after the nurse comes in and takes your vitals and then you wait for WHAT SEEMS LIKE AN ETERNITY for the doctor.

Me: Seth-put that fetal Doppler in your pants.
Seth: No.
Me: Come ON, you know if we had one of those I would feel a lot better, my anxiety would go way down.
Seth: No.
Me: Do you like me being crazy all the time? Do you like coming home to the nutbag woman who ate your wife?
Seth: If you want it so bad, put it in your purse.
Me: *gasps in horror* I can’t do that. That would be stealing-and I’m PREGNANT that would be bad baby karma. You really want me to put that on our UNBORN CHILD?
Seth: *sighs*
Me: Just put it down your pants, no one will notice-they have empty rooms around here with these things just sitting on the counter-they will just think someone misplaced it.
Seth: If I put that down my pants people will notice.
Me: Your pants ain’t that tight buddy. You should put it around the left cheek of your butt, it’s a little less fuller than the right, then you will be evened out. Oh! Or people will think it’s your wallet-put your wallet in my purse so people think it’s your wallet! You might have to put that microphone piece somewhere else though-like a tuck job between your crack or something…
Seth: Stop talking now.
Me: What?
Seth: Just stop, I’m not putting the Doppler down my pants…what are you doing?
Me: Telling everyone on facebook what a jerk you are because you won’t put the fetal Doppler down your pants.
Seth: *sighs*

My husband did math for almost two days straight yesterday. He finally quit at 8 o’clock. I would have quit 47 hours and 59 minutes earlier. How can someone do math for that long?? I was bored just watching him.

Someone from my husband’s hometown of Columbus Nebraska logs in every day, sometimes twice a day. Hey there! I wondered if it was my Mother in Law, but then I remembered she hates her computer and is always at work that time of day. She works in a pharmacy so it’s not her. But whatever, more mysteries from the puzzle that is the real time feed.

My boss left on vacation to some South American country today and left this totally tool bag in charge. I swear he is walking around like his penis doesn’t fit in his pants. Like he is leading with his man bits. He keeps walking thru the library where I sit and looking around for someone to be important too. He just tried to guess the scent of my scentsy pot. He was wrong. I let him believe he was right so he would go away.

My back is killing me. I don’t want to sit in my chair anymore. I have a stack of papers I’m supposed to be stamping and I can’t sit up straight. I’m pretty sure the guy next to me thinks I’m trying to sneak farts because I’m leaned over onto one cheek. I wish it was just sneaking farts, because at least that way eventually I’d feel better. At the moment I’m pretty sure I’m going to quit any sitting position what so ever.

Did I tell you Bean (who is 18 weeks and 4 days old today) is as big as a sweet potato? I find that strangely comforting.

My aunt and my mom’s best friend have H1N1. They seem to be living thru it. I thought H1N1 was supposed to kill you. Seth is terrified I’ll get it. He says I can’t see my mom until we know she doesn’t have it. Not like I’m not going to get on a flying can of disease and to the most populated city in the country in a week and a day-but whatever, I’m irrational too, I understand it.

Dude-is hand sanitizer allowed in your carry-on? I should find this out…

Some guy just gave me a huge update to a document to do. He very nicely typed up all 6 pages of the update for me to insert. He’s adding 254 bullets to a document. He told me it was a “rush” job. He acted all panicked. You think, if it was such a huge deal for me to get this done quickly and accurately, he would have given me the soft copy of the bulleted insert so I could just cut and paste it. No. He expects me to type each bullet. We need a new campaign around here, instead of safety, we need a USE YOUR EFFING COMMON SENSE JACKASS campaign. We could use a picture of a cute donkey kicking someone in the head. Why am I not in marketing?

Alright well I’d better start typing lover-lies.
Talk to you later!

Love (this new middle day randomness blog posting),
Carrie