There are some that only employ words for the purpose of disguising their thoughts.

Hello blog world. I’m having a tough mental day today. I think it’s because I had bad dreams last night-so I woke up tired and feeling like something was going to go wrong. At this point I’m taking things hour by hour, trying not to talk myself off the ledge. I also think I am starting to work up anxiety about Bean’s doctor’s appointment. I’m trying not to, but hey, you try to work with the crazy in my head.

Last night
Jesse came over and started his projects for us last night. I was really sure he wasn’t going to make it and started laying out the trim painting to do myself, but then he showed up and he did it and I was super glad because he did a WAY better job than I would have. He taped things off and laid out extra drop clothes and used all the right tools. So it was probably better that he did it and not me. I made him macaroni and cheese and then I wasn’t feeling so hot so I had him drive me to pick up something at Taco Bell. Then I went and laid in bed. He went home about 8:30. Seth came home around 9 and promptly started studying/freaking out about his homework and proposal that is due for the class. He stayed up until midnight trying to teach himself what his teacher hadn’t. I hate when this happens to him. What is it with half-assed teachers who expect you to learn things they refuse to teach you? Things that aren’t even in the book? This teacher, for his network engineering class is particularly stupid and has 6 books for the class. He also told the distance learning students (what Seth is, the college is in California) that unless they had access to special records on campus, he didn’t know how they were going to do the proposal. So that’s nice. Seth is having a minor meltdown about it. I tried to go to sleep without him, but that is practically impossible. When I got to sleep, I need to be able to be down for 8 hours straight, otherwise, I wake up tired (like I am today) and unrested. Of course it doesn’t help that Seth will come in and chatterbox you to death even though you are trying to sleep and it’s midnight. He is still getting up with me at 6:15am so I’m hoping it starts to wear on him and he starts wanting to come to bed earlier.

TV
I didn’t watch anything monumental last night. I flipped thru some stuff. History Channel is doing a special this week on the Kennedy family or the assassinations or something. So I watched that for a bit. Then I watched that DJ AM Intervention knockoff. That was about it.
I forgot to tell you all what I thought of Grey’s. First off, the penis storyline made me cringe. I thought the storyline with Meredith and Lexie could have been so much more and it got shoved under the rug. I liked the stuff with Izzie and Alex. I was meh on the Callie and Arizona stuff. I liked the Chief and Callie. I’m pretty sure Izzie is going to lose her job for a while. It’s nice to see the old Bailey creeping back. Derek does stoic watcher very well. And as always, I love Owen and Christina-I hope they don’t screw this couple up too bad.

Comments
I had trouble commenting back to your comments yesterday-but I finally got something up at home since my computer is down and I’m using Seth’s. Also it was super fun to watch where everyone is coming from on the real time ticker-some of you I recognize and some of you stump me! Shoot me a comment or email, I’d love to know how you found me!

Bean’s Blog
The Bean is hanging out today. Yesterday it gave me THE WORST INDIGESTION EVER. Like I could hardly sit up. I kept going over to the couches (I work in the library now and there are couches) and laying down on them because it was the only position that didn’t feel like my chest was going to explode. I'm testing a theory today that it might be the soda I've been drinking. I'll let you know how it turns out. I hope I'm wrong because I just bought a case of Diet Dr. Pepper (Caffeine free of course) and I don't want to stare at it longingly.
I didn’t feel the Bean pop much yesterday, but the web says that is normal. I thought I felt it when I was lying down once or twice, but I really didn’t focus on it too much. I’m ready to go see the doctor and talk to her about lots of things. Hopefully it will help me be at least a little more relaxed about all of this. Sanity check if you will.

One Step at a time
I’m trying to take this day one hour at a time. I tell myself to just try to make it to the next hour and then the next and then the next. You think I would be smart enough to not fall for that, but I mean, come on, sometimes taking things down into childish terms comforts your mind better. Like when your Mom shows up with soup randomly when you are sick.

CarrieBerry
My CarrieBerry is driving me crazy. Of course the day after I order the fancy hardcase to protect it I freaking drop it and put a huge scratch/dent on the top corner. The “silicone case” didn’t even help it at all. It’s infuriating. Also for some reason, my dial pad isn’t working. I know I probably just need to restart it but that activates a bunch of apps I turned off for memory space and I’d have to go thru and turn them off again. Like Google Talk-do you know what that does to my phone? It basically turns it into a giant hourglass. Anytime I try to do something the clock symbol comes up and is like, not today buddy. I can safely say, I’m not attached to my CarrieBerry, sure it’s handy at work when I can’t check facebook or if someone sends me an email, or to send pictures to my family and friends I just took, but the amount of time I spend trying to figure it out or trying to figure out what’s wrong makes me long for a simple phone.

Fur Babies
So last night Bagheera turned into a baby. He literally climbed up into bed and laid in my arms like you would a baby. Then when I got up to pee he situated himself under the covers and with his head on the pillow. He stayed that way, in the curve of my arm/chest until about 3 when I turned to the other side. I gave him my back and he stretched out under the covers and made a giant heating pad on my back. Seth thought it was the cutest thing ever. I did too until I realized I had even less of the bed than before and seriously had one foot on the floor. Then I got crabby and made him go cuddle with Willow. He was pissed and probably won’t ever do it again, but it was pretty darn cute. They also helped Jesse paint, which was hilarious until Bagheera got paint on his ear, then it turned into World War Three trying to get it off. Ahh cats. By the way, Seth thinks it’s totally funny when I do the Bengals “Who Dey?” chant at the cats. I’m finally working football humor into my everyday life-go me.

She works hard for the money
Except today. But I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try it. Hope you all have a super fantastic day-and the week is going by quickly for you!

Love (kittens who cuddle),
Carrie