Your somewhat usual random afternoon blog post

An update on Seth
Boy it has been a week for the Hellbusch’s, huh?
So Seth went to the doctor and apparently there is a sack of fluid surrounding your elbow to protect the bone. His is horribly infected. He had to get a tetanus shot and got put on really strong antibiotics. Seth’s is horribly allergic to penicillin so of course he got put on the expensive antibiotics. He also swears that he got H1N1 from someone in the waiting room. He’s pretty sure he’s going to be in misery the next couple of days.
I will be too, since the outlook on getting my bathroom back is grim.
The doctor drew on his elbow with a permanent marker and if the swelling goes above that we have to go to the emergency room. And if it doesn’t go down by Wednesday we have to “explore other options”, which I seriously hope doesn’t mean Seth losing an elbow, because I’m sure they don’t have prosthetic elbows yet. And holding baby is going to be hard with one arm.

Speaking of the baby
I’ve had three really weird conversations at work the past two days in regards to my baby.

Convo one
Carrie is going to fill up her tea mug with hot water. The cafeteria is full of “contractors” incoming for the outage. A contractor she recognizes as a “regular” but doesn’t know approaches her.
Carrie: Hey how is it going?
Contractor: Good, but not as good as you I hear, I hear you are having a baby!
Carrie: *nervous laugh* yep
Contractor: Have you considered that there are many people in the world who long for a baby and can give it a good life and raise it in a good Christian household?
Carrie:….
Contractor: Yes you see, you don’t have to let your mistakes not benefit a loving couple who just wants to give your unborn child all the love in the world. They would even be willing to pay all your medical expenses! And even compensate you for your troubles! Imagine-your child in a home of love and full of the blessings of our Lord Jesus Christ!
Carrie:..uh…I’m pretty sure my husband would be mad if I gave you our baby. But thanks. *Carrie runs away screaming*
Contractor: *shouts as she runs* Oh! Sorry! Last time I was here you weren’t married! I thought you created that child in sin!

Yeah asshole, like that makes it better. Sorry! Thought you were a whore and wanted to take your whore baby and raise it in a none whore environment! I thought about hitting him, but I was worn out from walking down to the cafeteria.

Convo Two
Carrie is updating the simulator with new procedures. There is a operator in there who is usually very nice.
Carrie: Hi Operator! I’m just here to update.
Operator: Oh hey Carrie! Congrats are in order for you-I hear you are WITH CHILD.
Carrie: Oh thanks! Yeah, we are pretty excited.
Operator: You should be, there is nothing in this world like being WITH CHILD.
Carrie: I suppose, it’s not very fun right now though…
Operator:* interrupts* although my wife wouldn’t know, she can’t be WITH CHILD…
(Operator proceeds to tell Carrie a half an hour story about why his wife can’t be WITH CHILD and how they adopted their son 27 years ago, but things were different then with adoption, you just got the kid and went on your way, there was no social services to check and make sure you weren’t beating the crap out of them or molesting them)
Carrie: Well, it sounds like you are a lucky man then.
Operator: But not as lucky as you-being WITH CHILD.
*Carrie runs away because she’s afraid Operators’ next move is to cut her baby out with a spoon*

He really did say with child like that, with a huge emphasis and all slow like it was the most important series of words ever said. Like you would say “our Lord Jesus Christ” or something.

Convo Three
Carrie is trying to find someone’s desk in the maze of cubicles that are in her office. A random childless old woman stops her.

Carrie: Hi Random Childless Old Woman (RCOW) do you know where Jim’s desk is?
RCOW: Why would you go and get yourself knocked up? Worst idea ever.
Carrie: So Jim’s desk?
RCOW: Do you know what birthing method you are going to use? I hear they are all bad. Don’t do natural, if you get a midwife they will kill you in your home. Are you going to give birth in your home?
Carrie: Uh no-I really don’t have a birthing plan yet, but I won’t be doing it at home. Actually my clinic is one of the only ones in the state fully licensed to practice midwifery, so I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t kill me if that’s what I decide to do.
RCOW: So you believe in that hippie crap? Is your doctor even a doctor?
Carrie: Um yeah, she’s a professor of neonatal surgery at UNMC.
RCOW: Whatever, I don’t even know why you got pregnant in the first place…
Carrie: I’m going to find Jim’s desk now. Before I punch you.

I work at the weirdest place in the whole world.

Have a nice weekend all! I’ll be nursing the infected one. Wait can I catch an elbow infection? Should I go stay at a hotel?

Love (to work somewhere saner than me),
Carrie